Questions about relationship with Peruvian woman

Answers to your qestions about moving to, and living in, Peru,
Roger in the US
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Questions about relationship with Peruvian woman

Postby Roger in the US » Sun Nov 06, 2011 11:44 pm

My first post so a bit about myself.

I am a 52 year old male living in Oklahoma with a 9 year old boy who is going to retire next year.

Several months ago I met a Peruvian woman online and we have talked via skype almost everyday and sent probably a hundred emails back and forth. I like the girl. She is 45, appears to be a very caring mother of her teenage daughter and has a great government job. (executive secretary in Lima but doesn't pay that well comparing to the same job here.) She has an associates degree and owns her own home in Chaclacayo. Takes great care of herself and just seems to be an great person in general. Her English is very basic but so is my Spanish but thanks to google translate when there is a question. I picked up Pimsleur spanish and have been working on my Spanish while I drive, which is several hours a day.

Absolutely no red flags except a bit of jealousy regarding other women that I can tell. I have been around the block so I pick up most things. Has never asked me about income or asked me for money.

I will be visiting her in March for a couple of weeks and she will visit the US next summer. That is the game plan anyway. She has a brother that lives in Virginia.

The questions that I have are.

1. If I were to move there when I retire (even for just a year) . Are there any bilingual schools for my son available in the area? I would prefer Chaclacayo. Or any other options available for his school?

2. When she visits next summer. Would it be easier for her to use her brother in Virginia for her to get a visa?
Meeting her in Virginia is no problem since the plan is to visit Kentucky anyway since that is where I am from and have no plans to live here in Oklahoma in the future.

3. If at sometime that we marry, which is the best option for marriage? Here or there?
With her brother living in Virginia would that make things easier with the legalities of a visa?


Probably the biggest reason that I should probably move there if only temporarily is that she does have
a good job and don't want her to give it up until we are absolutely sure that we are meant to be together.
But I have my son's education which is priority number 1 if I should live in Peru. Plus it would be a great learning experience for him and myself. As well as being able to learn the language and her culture before moving her and her daughter to the states.

She has said many times it doesn't matter where we live. As long as it's together so not looking for a green card. I am sure that with a brother living here she would be able to have made the move if she wanted to.

Not trying to plan ahead too much but want to get an idea on these issues if all works out.


Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks

Roger


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Re: Questions about relationship with Peruvian woman

Postby gojirasan » Mon Nov 07, 2011 3:44 pm

I don't know about bilingual schools in Peru, but if you are really serious both you and your son should get started on your Spanish lessons immediately. Even if you do find a bilingual school it isn't much fun to live in a country where you can't speak the language well. It is very isolating. Especially for a child. Having your son learn a second language is an excellent idea at his age anyway. It certainly won't hurt him. If you stay in the US long enough for him to get to middle school he will probably have to study Spanish or French anyway.

Just remember that not all gringo hunters are stupid. Some are quite intelligent and can even act well. You can never get inside someone else's head. I'd date her for at least 5 years before even considering marriage. No reason to even think about it at this point. The fact that she has money and a decent job and a house and isn't pressing you after only a few months to move to the US is certainly a good sign, but it is not definitive. One of the first red flags to look for is if she almost immediately starts to like you too much. Especially when she has never met you in person. Not saying that can't happen. It's just something to be wary of.

This should probably go without saying, but if you are thinking in such serious terms about the relationship you should get your butt down to Lima ASAP and meet her for real. Spend at least a couple of weeks there with her if you can. If you don't mind my asking, how did the two of you meet online?
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Re: Questions about relationship with Peruvian woman

Postby RICHARDandNORA » Mon Nov 07, 2011 4:04 pm

There are many excellent schools (10 or 20 in Lima) in Peru and they teach exclusively in English , German or French. The majority teach in English. During the latter years of High school, there is a program call IB, International Baccalaureate. I would say that the education from one of these schools is superior to the public schools in the USA. Regarding jealousy, I have been married to a Peruvian lady for 10 years and it is more common for them to be jealous than an American lady. Getting a tourist visa may be difficult unless she meets certain criteria such as owning a home, job and family in Peru.....but it sounds like she meets those obligations.

I used to live in Lima and intend to return. I just love living in Lima......
Good luck,
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Re: Questions about relationship with Peruvian woman

Postby MartitaAQP » Mon Nov 07, 2011 11:00 pm

In terms of schools, in my experience bilingual just means excellent English program and perhaps a few other courses taught in English, not that someone could launch right in with no Spanish. However, I'm sure some expats with children in school in Lima could help you in this area with specific information.

Minor thing that struck me as strange: You say she has an associates degree. As in an AA or AS? there is no such thing in Peru. Perhaps she has a technical certificate. Does she really OWN her own home, not like it came from family or ex somehow? Very unusual that a secretary in Lima would be able to afford to buy her own home on a single-mother, one-income house.

Her getting a tourist visa will be difficult but it's not about proving a connection to the US, it's about proving a connection and reason to return to Peru. Having a bf in the US will hurt, not help.

Start by coming, as has already been suggested. Take a vacation here, decide if you could live here (for a year or whatever) because it's not for everyone. Many people move here for bfs/gfs and it barely lasts a few months.

Best of luck.

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Re: Questions about relationship with Peruvian woman

Postby sunflower » Tue Nov 08, 2011 8:32 am

There are many excellent schools for your son, at least in Lima. High end "English speaking" schools include Newton College (http://www.newton.edu.pe/), Colegio Roosevelt (http://www.amersol.edu.pe/fdr/index.asp), Colegio Abraham Lincoln (http://www.abrahamlincoln.edu.pe/) or Colegio Hiram Bingham (http://www.hirambingham.edu.pe/es). These schools have an excellent reputation. All are more or less expensive, so be prepared to pay a admission fee of around US$ 3500 and US$ 7000 as well as monthly school fees between US$ 400 to US$ 800.

I have to agree with Martita, getting a US visa for a Peruvian is tough. I experienced that a boyfriend and family in the US hurt more than they help. The point is that the staff at the embassy want proof that your friend is returning to Peru once the tourist visa expires.

Where to marry depends on where you want to live. If you want to live, at least for a while in Peru, get married here. If you have all necessary documents is relatively easy. If you want to live in the US, I personally think it's best to get your friend a fiance visa. Lots of stories about it can be found here on the forum.

Good luck!
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Re: Questions about relationship with Peruvian woman

Postby viernes » Tue Nov 08, 2011 9:28 am

This wouldn't be the case for everyone obviously, and I have little experience with grade school in Peru, but as far as arriving with little spanish and being thrust into the school system being an isolating experience, I'm not so sure. If He's nine years old, his potential to learn is very high. I've seen lots of peruvian kids arrive in the states, get thrust into the english only public school system and thrive, speaking conversationally after a few months and speaking, reading, as if they were born there after a year or two. I remember a certain girl being 14 years old when she arrived, and after a year her english is phenomenal.

Again everyone is different, but still, children can learn very quickly.
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Re: Questions about relationship with Peruvian woman

Postby jude » Tue Nov 08, 2011 7:30 pm

In this kind of situation I'm most concerned about the child. It seems a bit much to move your kid to a third world country so you can be with some woman you met online. In the best of circumstances it takes several years for a blended family to really gel together. This is obviously going to be a lot harder, your son will have to deal with being away from everything familiar; friends, family, school, culture, language, etc, and on top of that have to cope with dad's new girlfriend/wife and step-sibling.

A former poster from here, singlefather, did something similar. He met a woman online and quickly moved to Peru with his young children to be with her. Perhaps someone who knows him can tell you about how well that worked out.
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Re: Questions about relationship with Peruvian woman

Postby renodante » Tue Nov 08, 2011 9:28 pm

definitely there are good women to meet online, but as others have said, keep your wits about you. i've met girls here who came from relatively wealthy families here who were still "bricheras." feel it out for a long time first, in person.
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Re: Questions about relationship with Peruvian woman

Postby Icachico » Wed Nov 09, 2011 9:34 am

A former poster from here, singlefather, did something similar. He met a woman online
and quickly moved to Peru with his young
children to be with her.
Perhaps someone who knows him can tell you about how well that worked out.

I can imagine it is difficult moving to another country with young children with little or no money then having to rely on people lending money to you all the while promising that you will pay them back some day & knowing that day will never come.
I can also imagine it is difficult for the lenders to just forget about it and let it go.
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Re: Questions about relationship with Peruvian woman

Postby Roger in the US » Wed Nov 09, 2011 11:30 am

I want to thank everybody for the replies. It is appreciated much as it gives me many things to consider.

A few answers to the questions here.

I met her online at Latinamericancupid.com

When I stated that she had an associates degree that was me "assuming" since she finished a vocational school.

I have the pimsleur Spanish course which I have been using for about 5 months. Before I met her. I have several Cuban friends that have been helping me.

My son has been taking Spanish classes at his Catholic school that he now attends.

Finances are not an issue. Not rich but retirement is great. The only reason I have stayed in Oklahoma for the 25 years.

I am aware of the issues of thrusting my son in a third world country as well as myself. But have much more to learn.

I did a search for SingleFather and noticed he hasn't posted since the beginning of the year. I would have liked to talk to him a bit to get some ideas. Sounds like things didn't work out for him.

Have any others here met others online and might be able to give me some pointers?

I have scheduled vacation for 2 weeks in March to make a visit. I am going to take my son with me. I do understand the safety issues as I have spent some time in Mexico.

With March being almost 5 months away, many things can happen before then. So I am keeping my wits but I am interested in this girl so we will see. But any pointers would be appreciated much..

Roger
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Re: Questions about relationship with Peruvian woman

Postby Kelly » Wed Nov 09, 2011 11:43 am

If it's something you can afford to do, why not consider coming down here and staying for the summer while your son is out of school?

It will give you more time to get to know her, and it will give you more time to get to know Lima. All other things considered, you may find that you really dislike what the weather will be like that time of year - especially when you learn it will be like that a good 7 months of the year.

School will also be in session and you'll be able to visit several and see what the options are for your son.
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Re: Questions about relationship with Peruvian woman

Postby dakota44 » Thu Nov 10, 2011 12:30 pm

Roger in the US wrote:I want to thank everybody for the replies. It is appreciated much as it gives me many things to consider.

A few answers to the questions here.

I met her online at Latinamericancupid.com

When I stated that she had an associates degree that was me "assuming" since she finished a vocational school.

I have the pimsleur Spanish course which I have been using for about 5 months. Before I met her. I have several Cuban friends that have been helping me.

My son has been taking Spanish classes at his Catholic school that he now attends.

Finances are not an issue. Not rich but retirement is great. The only reason I have stayed in Oklahoma for the 25 years.

I am aware of the issues of thrusting my son in a third world country as well as myself. But have much more to learn.

I did a search for SingleFather and noticed he hasn't posted since the beginning of the year. I would have liked to talk to him a bit to get some ideas. Sounds like things didn't work out for him.

Have any others here met others online and might be able to give me some pointers?

I have scheduled vacation for 2 weeks in March to make a visit. I am going to take my son with me. I do understand the safety issues as I have spent some time in Mexico.

With March being almost 5 months away, many things can happen before then. So I am keeping my wits but I am interested in this girl so we will see. But any pointers would be appreciated much..

Roger


You are in a good position to sort out those only wanting a bridge to the U.S. You are retirement age. Just say that you intention is to retire here and that you have no intention of returning to the U.S. Anyone looking for a path to the U.S. will give up on you pretty fast I would think. Before I moved to Peru I had made a number of online female friends here. The real friends didn't disappear when they learned that my intention was to live here and not go back, and they are still my friends. The ones who suddenly disappeared, well I guess we know what they really wanted. The suggestions that you come here and spend a significant period of time is a good one. You need to know her better and also to know Peru better. I love it here, but it is not for everyone. There are many things that can be frustrating and difficult to get used to. You can rent very nice furnished apartments in Lima, in very good areas, by the month and a lot less expensive than hotels. But on that score be careful as well as there are some scammers who take deposits and when you arrive, there is no apartment. Use a reputable agency for that or a solid recommendation by someone here.
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Re: Questions about relationship with Peruvian woman

Postby Alan » Thu Nov 10, 2011 2:01 pm

Hi,

Chaclacayo is a rather hairy drive from Lima, and I wouldn´t want to consider a commute to most of the schools that have been mentioned on this thread. At least a one hour drive there and back again on a not-so-friendly road. There is a German school in Chosica (just down the road from Chaclacayo) that has a good reputation, and I imagine a fairly strong English program. You might want to consider it http://www.cbi.edu.pe/.

My own advice would be to visit first for one or two months and check things out before considering a longer term commitment. Chaclacayo has great weather, but you might feel a little isolated out there. Depends on you and your personality.

Your lady sounds very nice, but as others have pointed out, you do need to be careful. Sometimes these ladies are working more than one online relationship. The language issue is huge, too, but not insurmountable.

Good luck. If you want to PM me with some more direct questions, I can probably give you some more advice.
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Re: Questions about relationship with Peruvian woman

Postby gojirasan » Thu Nov 10, 2011 7:15 pm

I just wanted to point out that living in Peru could end up being a very positive experience for the child. I only wish I had been exposed to different cultures at that age. I think I would have loved it and probably not have wanted to return to the US. I would also second Kelly's idea about spending summer vacation there if you can.
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Re: Questions about relationship with Peruvian woman

Postby falconagain » Thu Nov 10, 2011 10:26 pm

gojirasan wrote:I just wanted to point out that living in Peru could end up being a very positive experience for the child. I only wish I had been exposed to different cultures at that age. I think I would have loved it and probably not have wanted to return to the US. I would also second Kelly's idea about spending summer vacation there if you can.


It really depends on many things. I came to Peru as a child and I totally hated, most of the stuff that I learned about Peruvian culture was not positive and actually to some degree you are exposed to the shortcomings
of Peruvian mentality. But it is different with every person.
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Re: Questions about relationship with Peruvian woman

Postby tupacperu » Fri Nov 11, 2011 2:08 pm

dakota44 wrote:
Roger in the US wrote:I want to thank everybody for the replies. It is appreciated much as it gives me many things to consider.

A few answers to the questions here.

I met her online at Latinamericancupid.com

When I stated that she had an associates degree that was me "assuming" since she finished a vocational school.

I have the pimsleur Spanish course which I have been using for about 5 months. Before I met her. I have several Cuban friends that have been helping me.

My son has been taking Spanish classes at his Catholic school that he now attends.

Finances are not an issue. Not rich but retirement is great. The only reason I have stayed in Oklahoma for the 25 years.

I am aware of the issues of thrusting my son in a third world country as well as myself. But have much more to learn.

I did a search for SingleFather and noticed he hasn't posted since the beginning of the year. I would have liked to talk to him a bit to get some ideas. Sounds like things didn't work out for him.

Have any others here met others online and might be able to give me some pointers?

I have scheduled vacation for 2 weeks in March to make a visit. I am going to take my son with me. I do understand the safety issues as I have spent some time in Mexico.

With March being almost 5 months away, many things can happen before then. So I am keeping my wits but I am interested in this girl so we will see. But any pointers would be appreciated much..

Roger


You are in a good position to sort out those only wanting a bridge to the U.S. You are retirement age. Just say that you intention is to retire here and that you have no intention of returning to the U.S. Anyone looking for a path to the U.S. will give up on you pretty fast I would think. Before I moved to Peru I had made a number of online female friends here. The real friends didn't disappear when they learned that my intention was to live here and not go back, and they are still my friends. The ones who suddenly disappeared, well I guess we know what they really wanted. The suggestions that you come here and spend a significant period of time is a good one. You need to know her better and also to know Peru better. I love it here, but it is not for everyone. There are many things that can be frustrating and difficult to get used to. You can rent very nice furnished apartments in Lima, in very good areas, by the month and a lot less expensive than hotels. But on that score be careful as well as there are some scammers who take deposits and when you arrive, there is no apartment. Use a reputable agency for that or a solid recommendation by someone here.


I would not put my faith in online introduction sites (some too expensive). Many of the women are middle - upper class and have expectations of meeting a guy with money and getting a Visa (not all). By the same token women from the lower strata will milk your bank account to help their families.


Actually I met my wife via Match.com International. I put a button on my profile where any woman could send a message free. I had responses from all over the world, but my concentration was Latin America. I chatted about a year or 2 with many women of many countries. She found me on page 20 :-), she remembers that day. As a matter of fact she reviewed my passport upon my arrival, and found that I had only been to Canada ad Mexico some years back, she was looking for recent time stamps to verify I was serious about her (-:.

My wife struck me as honest, loyal and hard worker and family oriented. The thing that impressed me , whenever she was in the internet cafe chatting with me, she had her son with her on her lap, she did not leave him with family. The thing I looked for was family orientation. I avoided women who wanted to party at the discoteco every weekend, I would ask purposely "What are you doing this weekend?"

My wife was a home body much like myself. The family qualities that she had impressed me. At that point I deleted all other contacts and pursued marriage with her after visiting and living with her in Peru. Been married 3 times, currently with my Peurvian wife 8 years. I can say, she was the best thing that ever happened to me in all my years second to my kids. :-).

At this point 57 years old, should thing go downhill, I have no regrets, she has given me the best years of my life. She deserves to be happy with or without me :-). She a real GEM!

My experience.
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Re: Questions about relationship with Peruvian woman

Postby doublek278 » Tue Nov 15, 2011 9:25 am

I definitely like that you have a great sense of adventure!

My two big warnings:
1). Moving your son for a year will be hard. I go both ways on that. First, I think it is a fabulous experience for him because he will certainly grow and mature and have a superior comprehension as to what lies beyond the US and beyond the resorts that tourists often visit. Such knowledge cannot be bought, but I think will lead to success for him. Second, however, it will be hard on him especially if you move to Chiclayo. I live relatively closer to there, in Piura. I am a recent college graduate, and while I have made a few friends, I honestly am horribly lonely at times. I love my Peruvian friends and some of them even speak great English, but I miss the ease of conversations without a language barrier. Sometimes it is exhausting. I was a pretty vivacious, outgoing, party-type back in the States, but here I am definitely more of a recluse who enjoys reading. Part of this is growing up and working full-time, part of this is just that sometimes socializing can feel as exhausting as working. Making new friends is HARD and it is even harder when you're doing it cross-culturally. Of course having friends from another culture is WONDERFUL! You just need to be ready to work at it.

2). I am dating a Peruvian who I met back in the US, and we've been together for almost a year now. I moved here mostly on my own accord, with him begin an added benefit. I love him, I wouldn't change what I have for anything, but I think we would both admit that it's extra hard. First you have to be able to understand that communication will be a problem. Though I speak fluent Spanish and he speaks fluent English, every so often just one or two words can be misconstrued and an argument arises. We always laugh about it after, but at the time it's not funny! Second, there WILL be cultural differences that are going to make the relationship more challenging. Not better, not worse, just more challenging. The expectations are different, and you need to be ready to say "no, that's not who I am, I won't be like that" or you need to be willing to meet these expectations. You pick and choose your battles. Third, be prepared for absolute hell when you decide you want to go back to the States but not break-up. You're either looking at a tough, long-distance relationship or you're looking at a hell of a visa process. I'm young, I don't want to get married yet, and so we're looking into work visas from employers who are ready to jump through some hoops. I'm supposed to go back in June, so I spend usually a few minutes everyday saying a quick prayer that things work out for then. I've already paid a deposit on my masters and I'm not ready to give up everything to stay here...nor am I ready to give him up. I had another friend dating a Peruvian and while we both said we would never change our relationship and we're thrilled to be with our boyfriends, if it doesn't work out with them, we'll never do it again. It can be painful and stressful. Of course if it works, you're looking at an amazing relationship that is strong. If you can survive all of these things, you'll be able to survive almost anything.

Okay sorry if some of these things were negative, but I just wanted to be honest and speak from experience. Please know that I wouldn't change a single thing about my life, and I am happy to see all these success stories on this thread!
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Re: Questions about relationship with Peruvian woman

Postby Roger in the US » Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:00 pm

Everybody

I appreciate the replies very much everybody. There is so much to learn and time will tell how all works out.

I plan to make the trip in March with my son. It will be during his spring break so looking forward to the trip.

My internet has been intermittent at home from all the big storms we have had. A few earthquakes also..

What I am reading about Peruvian women is that you are joined at the hip in a relationship. I can see that with her. And that's ok with me but 25 years ago I could see this would have been a serious problem with me. But at 52 and with a 9 year old boy things do change.

I can tell she is very close to her daughter as many times she is with her on skype when we talk. And many of the pictures that she sends are mostly with her daughter. Yes it could be a con but I don't think so.

Some of the things that attract me to her is that she is extremely bright, attractive and just seems to be a down to earth women. Very passionate also which can be a positive. Also very athletic. Which I am also.

She is a light skin Peruvian woman. She has brought up that light skin Peruvians are discriminated against in Peru. Any insight on this? She is very white.

I am not going to be stupid about this as far as rushing into things but not seeing any negatives yet but I have learned never bring up the ex wife while talking to her. It's usually something associated with my son so it's just general conversation but not good idea at least at this time.

I am for sure going to let time take it's course and keep communicating with her and it would be great if all works out. And like I said before, After I retire next year, maybe make a move for a year or so.

Doublek, she lives in Chaclacayo and not Chiclayo. I appreciate the info about my child. I am sure it would not be easy for him but if he makes a few friends to play with it will be much easier. Still a lot of research to do in that area.

As for myself, if I can get to a gym and find a decent bike to ride then I will be okay but I do understand the issue of language barriers. Sometimes I get frustrated myself but I am just learning the language.

Tupacperu, I have been married once and it ended in disaster. She used meth and it destroyed her nursing career and the marriage. I am sure there you have heard a few stories similiar.

I don't want to go through another divorce myself. Having a child, it is important to me to have a stable and family oriented person in my life. I will see how this all unfolds.
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Re: Questions about relationship with Peruvian woman

Postby lizzym » Tue Nov 15, 2011 6:05 pm

Discrimination is a problem that exists from all sides in Peru. However, "white" Peruvians are generally not considered the victims of it since they typically have more money, education, life opportunities and power in society. But it is certainly something that exists against any "color" of Peruvian, for different reasons and in different ways (against lighter-skinned people it may just be a bad attitude, while those who are darker-skinned may experience more concrete and destructive forms.)

If she felt it necessary to mention that "whites" are discriminated against here, it's possible that she feels herself to be a victim, rather than recognizing that almost everyone here is victimized in one way or another by some form of racial discrimination (and that, in the general scheme of things, she probably comes out on top anyway.)
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Re: Questions about relationship with Peruvian woman

Postby renodante » Wed Nov 16, 2011 5:20 am

She is a light skin Peruvian woman. She has brought up that light skin Peruvians are discriminated against in Peru. Any insight on this? She is very white.


Strange. In my experience they're put on a pedestal. I suppose those on the wrong side of being discriminated against would take out their frustration on someone with lighter skin, but here often, the lighter the skin, the higher the social class or at least perceived social class.
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Re: Questions about relationship with Peruvian woman

Postby Roger in the US » Wed Nov 16, 2011 8:13 pm

It could very well be an issue at work. There was a political change at her job and the new boss is a dark skinned man. He moved all of the lighter skinned Peruvians out of his department. So who knows.
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Re: Questions about relationship with Peruvian woman

Postby tupacperu » Thu Nov 17, 2011 6:00 am

Roger in the US wrote:It could very well be an issue at work. There was a political change at her job and the new boss is a dark skinned man. He moved all of the lighter skinned Peruvians out of his department. So who knows.


Go into any bank or large business institution in Peru and you will see discrimination firsthand. Not many dark complexions working there. That has surprised me. Socially Peru is somewhat tolerant of race , institutionally it needs some work.
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Re: Questions about relationship with Peruvian woman

Postby tupacperu » Thu Nov 17, 2011 11:35 am

The Things you do to find Love ?

I know of a few horror stories (Peru and Colombia)

This guy is an ex-candidate for Gov. of AZ

American stranded in Ukraine in online dating scam


Dolego, who ran for Arizona governor just last year, had traveled to Ukraine this spring to do research for an engineering project and look for a wife. He says he met a woman named Yulia online and, hoping to marry her, went to her hometown of Chernivtsi.

She never showed up.

He says he sold his house, truck and motorbike and left for Ukraine to further study the method here.

http://news.yahoo.com/american-stranded ... 51852.html
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Re: Questions about relationship with Peruvian woman

Postby Roger in the US » Thu Nov 17, 2011 11:45 pm

This guy gave up his life in the states because of a few "forged" emails and pictures from a dating site?

Ran for Governor, and didn't have the sense to require some video time?
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Re: Questions about relationship with Peruvian woman

Postby renodante » Fri Nov 18, 2011 1:09 am

i personally know a woman who is on Latinamericancupid.com her age on there is 26.....she's 33.
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Re: Questions about relationship with Peruvian woman

Postby Kelly » Fri Nov 18, 2011 1:23 am

What??? someone lied on the internet?? That's unheard of. :roll:
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Re: Questions about relationship with Peruvian woman

Postby renodante » Fri Nov 18, 2011 2:12 am

Kelly wrote:What??? someone lied on the internet?? That's unheard of. :roll:


haha, you mean there's gambling going on in the casino?
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Re: Questions about relationship with Peruvian woman

Postby Roger in the US » Fri Nov 18, 2011 7:25 pm

renodante wrote:i personally know a woman who is on Latinamericancupid.com her age on there is 26.....she's 33.



My dad always thought my mother was a year younger than he was. Turns out after she passed, we found her birth certificate and she turned out to be a year older than he was. Even her drivers license was wrong.

Married 40 years. go figure...
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Re: Questions about relationship with Peruvian woman

Postby doublek278 » Sat Nov 19, 2011 11:55 pm

Whoops, sorry about the misread there, Roger. I'm not nearly as familiar with that area. Definitely support the unique experience for your son though. Actually, this is a random thought, but when I was looking for programs for my masters, a few schools required significant time of living abroad. Academically, such an experience could be highly beneficial.

There is also a SUPER blog somewhere about a family who took their kids to 3 different countries and home schooled them based on local topics. Can't remember the name, but the education those kids got was far superior to what I was learning in middle school.
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Re: Questions about relationship with Peruvian woman

Postby Roger in the US » Sun Nov 20, 2011 12:17 am

doublek278 wrote:Whoops, sorry about the misread there, Roger. I'm not nearly as familiar with that area. Definitely support the unique experience for your son though. Actually, this is a random thought, but when I was looking for programs for my masters, a few schools required significant time of living abroad. Academically, such an experience could be highly beneficial.

There is also a SUPER blog somewhere about a family who took their kids to 3 different countries and home schooled them based on local topics. Can't remember the name, but the education those kids got was far superior to what I was learning in middle school.


I have thought about that also..Home schooling is a big responsibility. But might consider it depending on how things go. I know that there is online support for it.
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Re: Questions about relationship with Peruvian woman

Postby rama0929 » Sun Nov 20, 2011 3:29 pm

renodante wrote:
She is a light skin Peruvian woman. She has brought up that light skin Peruvians are discriminated against in Peru. Any insight on this? She is very white.


Strange. In my experience they're put on a pedestal. I suppose those on the wrong side of being discriminated against would take out their frustration on someone with lighter skin, but here often, the lighter the skin, the higher the social class or at least perceived social class.


They could be experiencing something along the "First World Problems" meme
http://weknowmemes.com/2011/09/first-wo ... lems-meme/
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Re: Questions about relationship with Peruvian woman

Postby jude » Sun Nov 20, 2011 4:47 pm

renodante wrote:i personally know a woman who is on Latinamericancupid.com her age on there is 26.....she's 33.


Well, as somebody (you!) said on the mid20's expats thread, "30's are the new 20's, i'm living proof."

Perhaps she lied so that she'd get responses from gringos in their 50's rather than in their 60's given her advanced age.
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Re: Questions about relationship with Peruvian woman

Postby falconagain » Sun Nov 20, 2011 9:44 pm

Peru has both racism against whites and racism against indians, both sides are violent so there is no innocence on it. But due to the changes that happene through the years, the racism against whites has increased considerably and things have deteriorated considerably.

Having a family that is half white, half indian has made me aware of both sides of the coin. My father side is indian from one of the poorest regions but they are not poor themselves, they have a heavy inferiority complex that makes them extremely violent against whites. My grandfather became rich due to the land reform in the early seventies and he attacked violently and indirectly the whites that lived on his region and in some occasions was able to make them move to another area. When my father got married, my grandfather told him that white people do not deserve an easy life and told him to give 70% of the family income to him to help the indian peruvian cause. My father agreed to this until a few months after my mother stood up to him and changed the situation.

Besides this my fathers family did not provide any advise to my mother to find a job when she arrived to Peru. We used to leave in La Victoria at the beginning where my mother was assaulted several times, and the police did not pay any attention to this incidents saying that the people that assaulted my mother were poor and that was a good enough justification to do it.

Now when my mother considered divorce some of the few peruvians friends advised her against it. Why, because they told her if you divorce an indian and keep living in Lima. He might have you killed or crippled. Nowadays the situation has improved a bit, but there is still people that cling to the old ways.

Some people tell me that this situation only applies to me or that those incidents only happened in the past. But it is not true as I have seen similar incidents happen to other people all over Peru. Since Toledo the government buracracy has become more indian and even less educated (Back in 2010 the government removed a woman from congress because she had no education whatsover, she was practically a retard).
On 2010 a friend of mine that was white got hired by an office of the Ministry of Justice, due to the fact that the department was 98% indian, he was harrased at the office, his fathers private business was harrased up to the point that he had to change all his phone numbers. Its the resentment that some indians feel which makes them not to allow any break for a white person
(which is kind of weird as in Peru we are all mixed up and there is no Pure whites anymore).

One can notice the level of racism during the elections: 1985 Alan Garcia ( I am here to make the indians proud), 1990 Fujimori ( I am pro indian, and also not a very good student, Vargas Llosa is pro white), 2000 Toledo ( I will make the government more Indian, but the Indians that
I select need to be professional), 2005 Alan Garcia (I am back and this time I will do it and help the indians as I promised). 2010 Humala ( I am an Indian, I feel discriminated, I believe on the constitution of 1978 which is Pro Indian).

The racism is even prevalent in schools. If your child is in a school with 90% population of indian students. Everything will be fine. Unless your child gets too good in either studies or sports. At that moment the rest of the students will consider him a threat that takes away opportunities from indian children. And he wil be poisoned or crippled in some way.

One of the tools that racists frequently use is the shamans which actually are poison providers.
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Re: Questions about relationship with Peruvian woman

Postby renodante » Sun Nov 20, 2011 11:11 pm

jude wrote:
renodante wrote:i personally know a woman who is on Latinamericancupid.com her age on there is 26.....she's 33.


Well, as somebody (you!) said on the mid20's expats thread, "30's are the new 20's, i'm living proof."

Perhaps she lied so that she'd get responses from gringos in their 50's rather than in their 60's given her advanced age.


to her credit, she looks 26.

but yeah, of course it's that. also just to make herself generally more marketable. you can find girls on that website who are 20 and their high cutoff for age is like 60 (!?!?!?!)
Last edited by renodante on Sun Nov 20, 2011 11:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Questions about relationship with Peruvian woman

Postby renodante » Sun Nov 20, 2011 11:15 pm

Back in 2010 the government removed a woman from congress because she had no education whatsover, she was practically a retard


she should move to the states and run for office there. she'd fit right in.
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Re: Questions about relationship with Peruvian woman

Postby Roger in the US » Mon Nov 21, 2011 10:42 am

renodante wrote:
Back in 2010 the government removed a woman from congress because she had no education whatsover, she was practically a retard


she should move to the states and run for office there. she'd fit right in.



No thanks. We already have one named "Nancy"..
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Re: Questions about relationship with Peruvian woman

Postby Kelly » Mon Nov 21, 2011 11:11 am

Let's keep it on topic, guys.
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Re: Questions about relationship with Peruvian woman

Postby Formidable 1 » Thu Feb 16, 2017 1:40 pm

Roger in the US wrote:My first post so a bit about myself.

I am a 52 year old male living in Oklahoma with a 9 year old boy who is going to retire next year.

Several months ago I met a Peruvian woman online and we have talked via skype almost everyday and sent probably a hundred emails back and forth. I like the girl. She is 45, appears to be a very caring mother of her teenage daughter and has a great government job. (executive secretary in Lima but doesn't pay that well comparing to the same job here.) She has an associates degree and owns her own home in Chaclacayo. Takes great care of herself and just seems to be an great person in general. Her English is very basic but so is my Spanish but thanks to google translate when there is a question. I picked up Pimsleur spanish and have been working on my Spanish while I drive, which is several hours a day.

Absolutely no red flags except a bit of jealousy regarding other women that I can tell. I have been around the block so I pick up most things. Has never asked me about income or asked me for money.

I will be visiting her in March for a couple of weeks and she will visit the US next summer. That is the game plan anyway. She has a brother that lives in Virginia.

The questions that I have are.

1. If I were to move there when I retire (even for just a year) . Are there any bilingual schools for my son available in the area? I would prefer Chaclacayo. Or any other options available for his school?

2. When she visits next summer. Would it be easier for her to use her brother in Virginia for her to get a visa?
Meeting her in Virginia is no problem since the plan is to visit Kentucky anyway since that is where I am from and have no plans to live here in Oklahoma in the future.

3. If at sometime that we marry, which is the best option for marriage? Here or there?
With her brother living in Virginia would that make things easier with the legalities of a visa?


Probably the biggest reason that I should probably move there if only temporarily is that she does have
a good job and don't want her to give it up until we are absolutely sure that we are meant to be together.
But I have my son's education which is priority number 1 if I should live in Peru. Plus it would be a great learning experience for him and myself. As well as being able to learn the language and her culture before moving her and her daughter to the states.

She has said many times it doesn't matter where we live. As long as it's together so not looking for a green card. I am sure that with a brother living here she would be able to have made the move if she wanted to.

Not trying to plan ahead too much but want to get an idea on these issues if all works out.


Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks

Roger


How about an update, Roger?
Did it work out?

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