Why are most people in lima rude? Or close minded..

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Ragnorak20
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Why are most people in lima rude? Or close minded..

Postby Ragnorak20 » Fri Jun 28, 2013 6:11 pm

Hello everyone,

I have been exploring lima a bit more and now I see that not only the pitucos where close and open only with their inner circles but also working class people. For instance, I was a primax buying some pepsi and the cashier lady atold me to get change from her co-worker so I went and approach this guy who was from at the bank in the same store and he ignored me, I was trying to explain him that his co-worker send me but he couldn't bother, even worst the security officer thought that I was CUTTING THE LINE! When it wasn't true I just approached this guy so he could give me some change.

What bothered me the most is that people around thought I was a "desubicado" or someone cutting the line when it was not true, I loudly explain to everyone that I just wanted some change. I even followed the co-worker back to the cashier lady and HE STILL WOULND'T TALK TO ME. In the end I just got some change from someone outside the store, came back and bought the pepsi. What bothers me is that I still don't understand the people here at least I am happy I'll be leaving soon.


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Re: Why are most people in lima rude? Or close minded..

Postby gringito » Fri Jun 28, 2013 6:35 pm

Hmhh...strange. :shock:
I have the strong feeling that this is a consequence of your own character and your own "radiations" and, psychologically said, your very negative projections.

I have never (!) made such a negative experience with the Limenos though I am not thaaaat easy, i.e. I have a strong character, can be bullheaded from time to time, and can be extremely assertive (if it becomes necessary... :mrgreen: ).
In fact, I find that the Limenos/Peruvians are VERY friendly, in particluar if you are a foreigner/tourist. Nonetheless, you have to find the right tone and the right way of "chanting" your words.

Ragnorak20 wrote:...I loudly explain to everyone that I just wanted some change. I even followed the co-worker back to the cashier lady and HE STILL WOULND'T TALK TO ME.

This, for example, amigo, is absolutely NO GO!!!!
Therefore, I understand why your Peruvian counterparts acted they way you described.
You simply don't do that in Peru! Peruvians consider this to be extremely impolite and "low class". Only drunks/borrachos scream/become loud - or very priviledged people (por ej. your boss - and even this is a certain no go).

BE NICE (even when you are boiling!!!), calm down, SMILE a lot, never ever be aggressive or rude, speak SOFTLY, be CHARMING - and you will get a CORRESPONDING response.
PS:
And don't dress like a junky..
(Even poor Peruvian dress or intend to dress well because they know the "outer image" is very important in the Peruvian society)
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Re: Why are most people in lima rude? Or close minded..

Postby Ragnorak20 » Fri Jun 28, 2013 11:04 pm

@gringito

Thank's for replying. I guess I phrased myself wrongly, I wrote this at the heat of the moment in a bit of anger. However, it comes from my frustrations from being around limeños and them not understanding me. First of, I don't look like a gringo but more hispanic like, so people would not treat me like a tourist. Second, I did not shout loudly at the people but rather raised my voice and my arms the security guard and told him I just wanted some change.( Not aggressively nor very loud)

Maybe, you could help me out with this but I this is not the first time something along this lines has happened to me in which I have been excluded or ignored by certain people, especially misunderstood, even though I made my intentions very clear and it is not a language barrier as I speak spanish well. What bothers me is the whole "outer image" as well it seems like peru is very driven by group think and people care too much what others think about them.
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Re: Why are most people in lima rude? Or close minded..

Postby Hitoruna » Fri Jun 28, 2013 11:36 pm

where did you learn spanish.

Peruvian spanish is usually (although this is changing, thanks Toledo! :evil: ) different and a lot of foreign spanish sounds rude to us. Did you say "disculpe"?

We peruvians use a lot of diminutives too. it softens the language
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Re: Why are most people in lima rude? Or close minded..

Postby Ragnorak20 » Sat Jun 29, 2013 5:17 pm

@Hitoruna

My grandmother who is a native speaker taught me. Any way, this situations still puzzles me. I don't understand why I should have apologised to this person, I did nothing wrong. I simply followed what the chasier lady told me. I approached him to get the change that the cashier lady was asking me for. It was for her so she would be able to have change. I simply approach this guy and told him "Hi sir, are you the cashier lady's co-worker? she asked me if you could give me some change." That's all

. Maybe the timing for it was wrong as this guy was receiving the change(I see that as my only mistake) however, the chashier lady specifically told me to ask him before he was done receiving the change so that he could change my 50 soles and I could pay her. Now I am not trying to give responsibility to someone else, but this was a very easy situation, all this guy had to do was say "sure" I would have given him the money and he would have changed it.

In addition, I think people were in fact rude with me as I approach another person before(who was not on the line) but rather at an ATM and asked him "Sir are you the cashier lady's co-worker?" and he simply ignored me. I tired of being ignored by people. The logical thing would had been for him to simply say "no". However, he didn't even reply.
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Re: Why are most people in lima rude? Or close minded..

Postby gringito » Sat Jun 29, 2013 8:37 pm

@ragnorak20:
Considering the situation you described it really appears that your Peruvian counterparts had a sort of bad day (was it a Monday?), while it is still possible that you did not find the right tone.
Do you have a CHILEAN accent? ;-)

However, what makes me really think is that you explain that you repeatedly (!) made bad experience, have been excluded or ignored and misunderstood.
These things can (can...nothing else!) be indicators that the reasons for such rejections or misunderstandings lie in your own character and your individual way of thinking and interacting with other persons.

Though rejection is something quite normal in life and should not be overrated, I would simply consult a professional, i.e. a psychologists, when it hurts too much or causes too many ddifficulties.
Intelligent people seek help when something goes wrong – and I feel you already intended to do so when you asked us for an opinion.

I just googled “Feeling rejected” and “social rejection”. There are a lot of websites dealing with this subject matter. Maybe you can get some first ideas out of the plurality of online guidebooks and articles. Nonetheless, again: I would consult a professional. This is something absolutely normal!

Suerte and animo!

PS:
Guess where I had my worst AND my best times in life?
Yes: in Lima!!!
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Re: Why are most people in lima rude? Or close minded..

Postby Hitoruna » Sun Jun 30, 2013 7:17 pm

Ragnorak20 wrote:@Hitoruna

My grandmother who is a native speaker taught me. Any way, this situations still puzzles me. I don't understand why I should have apologised to this person, I did nothing wrong. I simply followed what the chasier lady told me. I approached him to get the change that the cashier lady was asking me for. It was for her so she would be able to have change. I simply approach this guy and told him "Hi sir, are you the cashier lady's co-worker? she asked me if you could give me some change." That's all

. Maybe the timing for it was wrong as this guy was receiving the change(I see that as my only mistake) however, the chashier lady specifically told me to ask him before he was done receiving the change so that he could change my 50 soles and I could pay her. Now I am not trying to give responsibility to someone else, but this was a very easy situation, all this guy had to do was say "sure" I would have given him the money and he would have changed it.

In addition, I think people were in fact rude with me as I approach another person before(who was not on the line) but rather at an ATM and asked him "Sir are you the cashier lady's co-worker?" and he simply ignored me. I tired of being ignored by people. The logical thing would had been for him to simply say "no". However, he didn't even reply.


Disculpe is not an apology :idea:
it is just something to soften the way to exchange ideas.

I can see for what you wrote that you are not skilled enough in the way we talk and your speech can be understood as rude without none of your fault.
try using disculpe next time :)
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Re: Why are most people in lima rude? Or close minded..

Postby Ragnorak20 » Sun Jun 30, 2013 11:21 pm

@Hitoruna and gringito

Thank's for the reply's. I have talked to a therapist and even he acknowledges that life in lima is difficult and many people are excluded. I guess I'll just let go of this situation.
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Re: Why are most people in lima rude? Or close minded..

Postby Hitoruna » Mon Jul 01, 2013 2:36 am

Ragnorak

I live in a country to which a great deal of foreigners qualify as "closed" and "excluding" and yet I have never felt so. On the contrary I have always felt well received. Just a piece of advice, a lot of how you feel people are dealing with you is your own perception. Try to dispel those ideas and maybe people are not as you think. Personally I dont think peruvians are closed or something like that. On the opposite we are very (sometimes too much) welcoming. I saw a program about a east european girl who is now a folklore singer in Peru because while people in her own country excluded her, we on the other hand treated her very well and even make her feel beautiful and appreciated.

personally I think your perception is wrong but sincerely I would recommend you have to first put a positive spin on things and the world will become better.

P>S> just for a learning exercise for everyone, could you post what you said in spanish? I could help giving some tips
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Re: Why are most people in lima rude? Or close minded..

Postby Ragnorak20 » Mon Jul 01, 2013 4:06 pm

@Hitoruna

While I admit that I am sometimes socially inept. There are other people who aren't and they are still excluded. I have family from Huanuco who came to Lima and they have been mistreated called "serranos" or "cholos" just because of their skin colour or they have been looked down and ignored when they've been on wealthy restaurants or venues. I have read many experiences from foreigners here and while some like you said are treated very openly mainly because they are white, people from the inside of peru don't have that fortune.

I don't want to attack Lima, but everyone is self-conscious about appearances and what other people think about someone and most prefer to ignore the issues rather than to speak up when something is wrong. I am not the most socially skilled person and when dealing with people it can be my fault sometimes but other people who don't lack this skills suffer as well.


PS: What I said is "Señor, la señorita cajera me dicho si me podria dar cambio de 50 soles"
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Re: Why are most people in lima rude? Or close minded..

Postby argidd » Mon Jul 01, 2013 4:21 pm

I find that a lot of people in Lima are rude (I am a limeña by the way). When you are nice to people they look at you like WTF?

Some people who work in customer service (like the cajera and the other guy) tend to be especially rude. I think it's just lack of training in customer service, and that really aggressive demeanor common to a lot of us.

I know it's frustrating, but you know what, it's not worth your while. It's time to take a deep breath and just go on your merry way.
Regards,

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Re: Why are most people in lima rude? Or close minded..

Postby caliguy » Mon Jul 01, 2013 5:22 pm

argidd wrote:
I know it's frustrating, but you know what, it's not worth your while. It's time to take a deep breath and just go on your merry way.


some very good advice Argidd :D
every place has it's own spirit. you just need to tune into it.
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Re: Why are most people in lima rude? Or close minded..

Postby ariel » Mon Jul 01, 2013 7:33 pm

They have this keypad numbered 1-5 at Interbank by which you can rate their customer service for every transaction. Yeah, I almost always press 1 (worst). Why? Because there's no 0!

And then, like argidd said, I go on my merry way.

With a smile on my face.

From ear to ear. :mrgreen:

Without a care in the world.

And I'll do it again.

Over and over.

Because one cannot hope for a good customer service here in Lima.

That's how cynical this city has made me.
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Re: Why are most people in lima rude? Or close minded..

Postby chi chi » Tue Jul 02, 2013 6:36 am

ariel wrote:They have this keypad numbered 1-5 at Interbank by which you can rate their customer service for every transaction. Yeah, I almost always press 1 (worst). Why? Because there's no 0!

And then, like argidd said, I go on my merry way.

With a smile on my face.

From ear to ear. :mrgreen:

Without a care in the world.

And I'll do it again.

Over and over.

Because one cannot hope for a good customer service here in Lima.

That's how cynical this city has made me.


I always press 5. The service at INTERBANK is excellent. Banks in Europe have the worst service.
You can even go to INTERBANK 7 days a week from early to late.
In the provinces, the close at Sunday's but in Lima at several Plaza Vea's, they have an INTERBANK office that's open on Sundays.
In Europe, they open 9 tot 12 and 2pm till 7 pm and they often close on Fridays. And you have to stand in long lines as only one cashier is working. At INTERBANK, they always have a lot of staff and if you have a special request or want to do a bigger transaction out of view then you can walk into the gerente his office.
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Re: Why are most people in lima rude? Or close minded..

Postby vivaperusurf » Tue Jul 02, 2013 8:13 pm

i used to get upset at certian things in peru, like the lack of change. i wished the atms would dispense bills in smaller increments. its like i have money but i cant buy anything! LOL. oh well. anyway i actually devloped mantra which has helped me greatly in life whenever there is a situation which makes me angry or upset i just say tranquilo y paciencia over n over. try it sometime maybe it will help you. cuidate. :mrgreen:
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Re: Why are most people in lima rude? Or close minded..

Postby Manu » Tue Jul 02, 2013 11:56 pm

There are many criminals in Lima who buy little things on shops or gas stations and pay using counterfeit money. That's why many people distrust when somebody they dont know ask for change.
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Re: Why are most people in lima rude? Or close minded..

Postby gringito » Wed Jul 03, 2013 9:55 pm

ariel wrote:… I go on my merry way.

With a smile on my face.
From ear to ear. :mrgreen:
Without a care in the world.
And I'll do it again.
Over and over.

Good advice! Corresponds with one of my mayor principles.
If you pay to much regard to a grumpy person it will ruin your day for nothing. How I feel and how I react primarily depends on my own positive or negative thinking.

This does not mean that you should accept everything. Yes, there is a time for giving your counterpart hell and yell – if it is really necessary. Usually it is not.
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Re: Why are most people in lima rude? Or close minded..

Postby Goran James » Wed Jul 03, 2013 10:08 pm

Interesting discussion.

I would like to mention when you go on taxis and the ride costs 6 soles and you have a 20 soles bill and the taxi driver gives a big moaning and complains.. :shock: He works as a taxi driver and cannot change a 20 soles bill? He thinks he prefer not having change of few money cause someone's gonna steal from from him?

As mentioned in the discussion I think its not worth to take out all the feelings about being treated bad - the best thing to do is to smile and countinue, you know better! But in worse case or when having a bad day Im being very cold back to customer service people that treats me bad and very formal with them...
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Re: Why are most people in lima rude? Or close minded..

Postby Sergio Bernales » Thu Jul 04, 2013 12:40 am

Goran James wrote:Interesting discussion.

I would like to mention when you go on taxis and the ride costs 6 soles and you have a 20 soles bill and the taxi driver gives a big moaning and complains.. :shock: He works as a taxi driver and cannot change a 20 soles bill? He thinks he prefer not having change of few money cause someone's gonna steal from from him?

As mentioned in the discussion I think its not worth to take out all the feelings about being treated bad - the best thing to do is to smile and countinue, you know better! But in worse case or when having a bad day Im being very cold back to customer service people that treats me bad and very formal with them...


Despite their terrible road manners, I have to say most Peruvian taxi drivers are a hell of a lot friendlier and more honest than any taxi driver I met in Ecuador. If you hand a $10 bill to a taxi driver in Quito for a $2 fare, he will almost always claim not to have change. And if it's at night and all the shops are shut, you can't even try and get change. Even in the day time, most small shops in Ecuador will not accept large bills or offer to give you change unless you buy something reasonably expensive. The crooks driving taxis in Ecuador will make you warm to Peruvian taxi drivers.

Actually, on this whole subject of Lima being unfriendly, I think this is a very relative and personal thing. Compared to most major cities in the world, like London, New York or Paris, the people of Lima come across as warm and gregarious. Yeah, I agree that if you come from a small town, it won't seem that way, but spend a bit of time in other big cities, or even some other Latin American capital cities and it won't seem so bad. I found people in Quito the most unfriendly, in Bogota they were indifferent, Buenos Aires, uninterested, Santiago indifferent, La Paz a bit friendlier but slightly wary, Montevideo was a bit like a medium sized European city, relatively indifferent, but helpful if you asked... but as soon as I went to smaller towns in Uruguay, it was incredible the difference. Cars stopping at junctions to let people pass, people stopping in the street to ask if I was lost... Actually, that happened in Lima, too, when I first arrived and, apart from occasional pest, very rarely did I get the impression it was anything more than curiosity and friendliness.
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Re: Why are most people in lima rude? Or close minded..

Postby 28 de julio » Tue Jul 09, 2013 5:40 pm

I'd say it's no worse than any other big city, if not better than most, apart from the mad drivers. And I certainly feel secure in the prosperous neighbourhoods, like Miraflores, San Borja, San Isidro, etc, but maybe outside these areas it's different. When I've been to La Victoria and the centro historico, there seemed to be a different vibe. Where do you live?
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Re: Why are most people in lima rude? Or close minded..

Postby caliguy » Tue Jul 09, 2013 6:34 pm

28 de julio wrote:I'd say it's no worse than any other big city, if not better than most, apart from the mad drivers. And I certainly feel secure in the prosperous neighbourhoods, like Miraflores, San Borja, San Isidro, etc, but maybe outside these areas it's different. When I've been to La Victoria and the centro historico, there seemed to be a different vibe. Where do you live?


I am one of a handful of expats that live in the districtof La Victoria. When I visit other neighborhoods (Miraflores, San Isidro, San Borja, etc) it is a BIG difference ie. quieter, less trash on the street, fewer stray dogs, no random fires burning on the street, safer to walk at night and so on.
every place has it's own spirit. you just need to tune into it.
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Re: Why are most people in lima rude? Or close minded..

Postby 28 de julio » Tue Jul 09, 2013 6:46 pm

caliguy wrote:
28 de julio wrote:I'd say it's no worse than any other big city, if not better than most, apart from the mad drivers. And I certainly feel secure in the prosperous neighbourhoods, like Miraflores, San Borja, San Isidro, etc, but maybe outside these areas it's different. When I've been to La Victoria and the centro historico, there seemed to be a different vibe. Where do you live?


I am one of a handful of expats that live in the districtof La Victoria. When I visit other neighborhoods (Miraflores, San Isidro, San Borja, etc) it is a BIG difference ie. quieter, less trash on the street, fewer stray dogs, no random fires burning on the street, safer to walk at night and so on.


Hi Caliguy, that´s pretty much my experience, although there are parts of La Victoria that I really like. However, getting back to the poster´s question, do you find the people in La Victoria rude and closed minded? My experience is no. It´s certainly rough and readier than Miraflores, but if you can take out the security issue and the higher chance of being mugged, I don´t think the people are like that. What´s your experience?
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Re: Why are most people in lima rude? Or close minded..

Postby caliguy » Wed Jul 10, 2013 9:56 am

However, getting back to the poster´s question, do you find the people in La Victoria rude and closed minded?


i dont believe the op was targeting La Victoria specifically
every place has it's own spirit. you just need to tune into it.
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Re: Why are most people in lima rude? Or close minded..

Postby BellbottomBlues » Wed Jul 10, 2013 2:35 pm

What bothers me is the whole "outer image" as well it seems like peru is very driven by group think and people care too much what others think about them.

It may be worthwhile for you to research the differences between "high context" vs. "low context" cultures.
Latin countries tend toward high context cultures. It may be enlightening for you.

Also - as for rude Limenos, maybe it depends on what culture you are used to...it's all relative.

BBB
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Re: Why are most people in lima rude? Or close minded..

Postby Ragnorak20 » Wed Jul 10, 2013 2:48 pm

BellbottomBlues wrote:What bothers me is the whole "outer image" as well it seems like peru is very driven by group think and people care too much what others think about them.

It may be worthwhile for you to research the differences between "high context" vs. "low context" cultures.
Latin countries tend toward high context cultures. It may be enlightening for you.

Also - as for rude Limenos, maybe it depends on what culture you are used to...it's all relative.

BBB


My favourite book is "Beyond Culture" by Edward T. Hall the creator of those theories. I am very well aware of the differences. However, I think that it gets annoying as even in high context cultures I think people should voice different opinions while in Lima it seems like the leader has absolute power and the others just restate his opinion.
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Re: Why are most people in lima rude? Or close minded..

Postby BellbottomBlues » Thu Jul 11, 2013 1:25 pm


it seems like the leader has absolute power and the others just restate his opinion.


For a moment, I thought you were discussing specific Asian countries... :lol:

I am not sure where you are from, but yes, context is hugely important.

Thanks for the book reference.
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Re: Why are most people in lima rude? Or close minded..

Postby Ragnorak20 » Thu Jul 11, 2013 1:54 pm

BellbottomBlues wrote:
it seems like the leader has absolute power and the others just restate his opinion.


For a moment, I thought you were discussing specific Asian countries... :lol:

I am not sure where you are from, but yes, context is hugely important.

Thanks for the book reference.


No worries. Context is my passion. I want to know how it affects someone's perception of events. I notice this mainly in peruvian forums in which there is a clear leader and no one dares to contradict him or even when the leader is wrong his followers will still defend him. I think this is in contrast with western culture. For instance, I watched this american show "Survivor" where a tribe overthrew their leader once he made some mistakes and he was even blindsided.
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Re: Why are most people in lima rude? Or close minded..

Postby BellbottomBlues » Thu Jul 11, 2013 4:42 pm

Rebelling against authority is a long standing American tradition (US)....although I would argue that the basis for rebellion has moved from ideology to more toward financial motivations (notice I did not say economic reasons, that infers policy LOL).

Fascinating discussion with you, thank you....brings out the social scientist in me LOL

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Re: Why are most people in lima rude? Or close minded..

Postby Ragnorak20 » Thu Jul 11, 2013 7:35 pm

BellbottomBlues wrote:Rebelling against authority is a long standing American tradition (US)....although I would argue that the basis for rebellion has moved from ideology to more toward financial motivations (notice I did not say economic reasons, that infers policy LOL).

Fascinating discussion with you, thank you....brings out the social scientist in me LOL

BBB


Cool, it's great talking to someone who knows about context issues and how different cultures react. I wish more people would know, It would be awesome to have this sort of discussions while analysing people on the streets.
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Re: Why are most people in lima rude? Or close minded..

Postby Ragnorak20 » Thu Jul 11, 2013 10:25 pm

Manu wrote:There are many criminals in Lima who buy little things on shops or gas stations and pay using counterfeit money. That's why many people distrust when somebody they dont know ask for change.


Excellent point,man. I guess people live in a an environment of distrust. For instance, I heard a very sad story of a pituca who was sexually abused and stolen by some thieves. Then I understood why some pitucos might react the way they do to people who are not part of their inner circle.
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Re: Why are most people in lima rude? Or close minded..

Postby hoyce » Tue Jul 30, 2013 1:54 am

peruvian culture is rude in general by western standards. that's just the truth, whether you're walking down the sidewalk trying to make room for the other person (who will gladly have you walk in the street before budging an inch) to walk by, or making a transaction just to have someone behind you bark out an order and . . . cut without cutting, taking off on the combi before your even inside.

it's hard to deal with, it's not just limenos, it's peruvians in general - it's the culture. never experienced this in mexico. the one i hate the most is when you need service and they simply wont look at you or turn their head. i think what the guy said about "the energy your letting off"has some merit. i mean, i'm really starting to give off a lot of that . . . negative energy, and i'm self-aware.

at the same time though, they are rude. man, i'm really trying to learn to respond better. i just get pissed and start yelling. i do really notice that how you dress has a big impact on how you're treated.

in 3 years every peruvian i've rented from beats their dog with a broom. i'm so sick of hearing the thing crying outside my door, man.
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Re: Why are most people in lima rude? Or close minded..

Postby chi chi » Tue Jul 30, 2013 11:27 am

28 de julio wrote:Hi Caliguy, that´s pretty much my experience, although there are parts of La Victoria that I really like. However, getting back to the poster´s question, do you find the people in La Victoria rude and closed minded? My experience is no. It´s certainly rough and readier than Miraflores, but if you can take out the security issue and the higher chance of being mugged, I don´t think the people are like that. What´s your experience?


It depends of the district. People in Villa El Salvador are very friendly. And if you need help, people help you. There's no rush in Villa El Salvador. Most people who live in Villa El Salvador migrated from the provinces. They have better manners and respect for each other.
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Re: Why are most people in lima rude? Or close minded..

Postby richiecry » Tue Jul 30, 2013 3:54 pm

This is an interesting discussion from a couple of viewpoints. First point--rudeness. I am a very white (son of German mother, English father) Canadian and have been to Peru more than 20 times. I have also lived all over the USA, returning to Toronto last year (hopefully moving to Peru in a couple months). For me, rudeness is really relative. I find the people of Toronto the MOST unfriendly in the world---but they are ridiculously polite and politically correct. I find Peruvians and Americans...far friendlier as a whole than Torontonians. The only aspect of rudeness which is see in Lima regularly is the rudeness of how people drive...and that is definately cultural. Second point--Customer Service. For me....there is no country that has better Customer Service than the USA. I have noticed a huge difference in the USA vs Canada and the Customer Service in Peru is far worse than Canada. Customer Service in Europe also is not good. It seems to me....that apart from some individual instances (ie---I found good Customer Service in the Starbucks in the circle in Miraflores (forget the name of the street--I think there are some American chain restaurants in the circle too)), people in Lima do not even know what Customer Service is. Standing in line with a buddy waiting for some offical paperwork in a huge line for HOURS is ridiculous...me complaining and then my budd laughing at me and asking for 10 soles which I gave to him...upon which he then gave to a guard which brought us instant service is even more ridiculous. I think that until Peruvians begin to demand good Customer Service...things will not change.
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Re: Why are most people in lima rude? Or close minded..

Postby 28 de julio » Tue Aug 06, 2013 6:06 pm

chi chi wrote:
28 de julio wrote:Hi Caliguy, that´s pretty much my experience, although there are parts of La Victoria that I really like. However, getting back to the poster´s question, do you find the people in La Victoria rude and closed minded? My experience is no. It´s certainly rough and readier than Miraflores, but if you can take out the security issue and the higher chance of being mugged, I don´t think the people are like that. What´s your experience?


It depends of the district. People in Villa El Salvador are very friendly. And if you need help, people help you. There's no rush in Villa El Salvador. Most people who live in Villa El Salvador migrated from the provinces. They have better manners and respect for each other.


Yeah, it's definitely got something to do with the districts. Most places I go are friendly, in others people are maybe a little curious sometimes, also indifferent and there is the odd monster. But on the whole I've never found rudeness on the scale I found in Ecuador after living there for a year. It's almost like the levels of friendliness were reversed. Say one in five people are friendly and helpful in Ecuador, but here it feels like four in five.
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Re: Why are most people in lima rude? Or close minded..

Postby 28 de julio » Tue Aug 06, 2013 6:10 pm

hoyce wrote:peruvian culture is rude in general by western standards. that's just the truth, whether you're walking down the sidewalk trying to make room for the other person (who will gladly have you walk in the street before budging an inch) to walk by, or making a transaction just to have someone behind you bark out an order and . . . cut without cutting, taking off on the combi before your even inside.

it's hard to deal with, it's not just limenos, it's peruvians in general - it's the culture. never experienced this in mexico. the one i hate the most is when you need service and they simply wont look at you or turn their head. i think what the guy said about "the energy your letting off"has some merit. i mean, i'm really starting to give off a lot of that . . . negative energy, and i'm self-aware.

at the same time though, they are rude. man, i'm really trying to learn to respond better. i just get pissed and start yelling. i do really notice that how you dress has a big impact on how you're treated.

in 3 years every peruvian i've rented from beats their dog with a broom. i'm so sick of hearing the thing crying outside my door, man.


Hi Hoyce,
What a terrible experience. Which part of Peru or Lima is this? I've honestly never seen or received this level of behaviour here, apart from the odd rotten apple. But this is exactly what my life in Quito was like, so I sympathise greatly. It really makes you bitter, so bitter that I would probably never return to Ecuador.
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Re: Why are most people in lima rude? Or close minded..

Postby chi chi » Thu Aug 08, 2013 9:10 am

I personally think that people in Lima are friendly but that's probably because I am a foreigner. My gf told me that Peruvians are friendlier towards foreigners than towards each other. And Peruvians trust foreigners more than Peruvians.
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Re: Why are most people in lima rude? Or close minded..

Postby valentina.tirado-garza » Thu May 30, 2019 9:51 pm

I have been in Lima for 5 days now and I have experienced nothing but rudeness and lack of basic manners. Limeños appear distant, rude, impersonal, and insulting at times. I am Venezuelan but I am here as a tourist. I normally am very polite nice and proper towards people. I use polite words as disculpe, por favor, buenos días, buenas tardes, muchas gracias, que tenga buen día, le agradezco su ayuda, etc. However, even if you do not use those words the friendly and polite demeanor should bring walls down for most individuals but not for most Peruvians I encountered. I was even told to get out of their country and go back to mine. Ha! I have travelled to Mexico Aruba Colombia Greece Italy Puerto Rico ans others and I live in the US and by far people in Lima are considerably rude. I have been told and I did not believe it until now. You can’t possibly know until you see it with your own eyes. I visited Machu Picchu and it was beautiful. Glad I went but I am done. This is not a place I would like to visit again.
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Re: Why are most people in lima rude? Or close minded..

Postby 69roadrunner » Fri May 31, 2019 8:46 am

valentina.tirado-garza wrote:I have been in Lima for 5 days now and I have experienced nothing but rudeness and lack of basic manners. Limeños appear distant, rude, impersonal, and insulting at times. I am Venezuelan but I am here as a tourist. I normally am very polite nice and proper towards people. I use polite words as disculpe, por favor, buenos días, buenas tardes, muchas gracias, que tenga buen día, le agradezco su ayuda, etc. However, even if you do not use those words the friendly and polite demeanor should bring walls down for most individuals but not for most Peruvians I encountered. I was even told to get out of their country and go back to mine. Ha! I have travelled to Mexico Aruba Colombia Greece Italy Puerto Rico ans others and I live in the US and by far people in Lima are considerably rude. I have been told and I did not believe it until now. You can’t possibly know until you see it with your own eyes. I visited Machu Picchu and it was beautiful. Glad I went but I am done. This is not a place I would like to visit again.

You're barking up the wrong tree, here, fella. Don't think you will find many answers here. Maybe try a forum where Peruvian nationals are and ask them.
Some of us here don't even understand the Spanish words you just used.
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Re: Why are most people in lima rude? Or close minded..

Postby Formidable 1 » Fri May 31, 2019 9:24 am

valentina.tirado-garza wrote: I am Venezuelan but I am here as a tourist.


Therein lies the problem. They think you are like the other Venezuelans coming to squat and take employment away from Peruvians.
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Re: Why are most people in lima rude? Or close minded..

Postby windsportinperu » Sat Jun 01, 2019 9:45 am

valentina.tirado-garza wrote:I have been in Lima for 5 days now and I have experienced nothing but rudeness ....

.... Glad I went but I am done. This is not a place I would like to visit again.


You have been 5 days now, so you are still in Lima .... Suddenly at the end of your writing you already left Lima.

How can you be back home and in Lima at the same time ? ... Tell your secret, I would also like to be in several places at the same time..
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Re: Why are most people in lima rude? Or close minded..

Postby Formidable 1 » Sat Jun 01, 2019 12:11 pm

windsportinperu wrote:
valentina.tirado-garza wrote:I have been in Lima for 5 days now and I have experienced nothing but rudeness ....

.... Glad I went but I am done. This is not a place I would like to visit again.


You have been 5 days now, so you are still in Lima .... Suddenly at the end of your writing you already left Lima.

How can you be back home and in Lima at the same time ? ... Tell your secret, I would also like to be in several places at the same time..


Metaphysics is no secret, windy...

http://www.mindpowernews.com/TwoPlacesAtOnce.htm
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Re: Why are most people in lima rude? Or close minded..

Postby onetakenatep » Mon Jun 03, 2019 2:56 am

I can definitely see how people think Limeños are rude. It comes in different forms for sure.

The most obvious to me is how little regard Limeños have for the commons. Just obvious things that happen regularly.... things like cutting in line at the store to littering to extremely impatient/selfish driving at the expense of other vehicles/pedestrians, there's definitely a lack of respect and courtesy in the commons here. There are a lot of factors that drive this though, big city life is stressful and causes people to act this way. These things aren't unique to just Lima, you can find these things throughout Latin America and in big American cities like NYC, LA etc.

In day-to-day personal interactions there is definitely less of a emphasis on polite "small talk" or overly formal manners here in Lima. As an example, like saying "Hola, como estas?" or "Hola, que tal?" to the average Limeño will often times not earn you a response and depending on where you are in Lima it may even earn you a look like do I know you?. Coming from the Midwest USA it's been engrained in me to say "Hi, how are you?" so naturally I say the same thing in Spanish to everyone as it's my default. At first it was a bit weird when people would not respond in kind with "bien y tú?", but after a while you just get used to it. I don't take offense to it all and I don't even consider it to be rude, but I can easily see how foreigners might view this as rudeness. This all just depends on where you are in Lima and the type of person you are interacting with. It also depends on where you are from too. The world is still a big place and customs are still different from country to country.

In my personal experience, I think Limeños and Peruanos overall are quite nice and pleasant people. There are bad apples in every city/country. Also, the service industry isn't as bad as people say it is either. Yes, services themselves can be quite bad, slow, or illogical, but the majority of service industry workers in Lima are nice people who take pride in their job regardless of whether they are getting tipped or not.
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Re: Why are most people in lima rude? Or close minded..

Postby SilverbackPeru » Fri Jun 07, 2019 6:23 am

Yeah I have to admit I always thought people in Lima could be very rude but on the flip side sometimes they could be very friendly. Walking my dogs, I always found the other dog owners and people in the park to be extremely friendly. But store owners could be beyond rude or cold. When ever I bought anything they would give me a look as in to say "who the F$&K are you and who do you think you are, coming in here and spending your money in myyyyy shop!!!" :evil:

Lima isn't an easy city to live and I can understand maybe people switching off and becoming detached when times are hard, life has a habit of grinding you down in cities that size. You just need to go to most of the large cities and see how emotionally dead to other people some folk are in general.

One thing I never understood is how Peruvians are very formal with people they know and not with people they don't know. Family comes for dinner, everyone has to be greeted etc, you need to get past someone in a shop or street, no manners or anything said, just barge you way past or jump the queue.
Surely manners are most important for people you don't know and casual is for people you do know.

Saying that though all cultures are different so why fight how things are and just go with the flow.
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Re: Why are most people in lima rude? Or close minded..

Postby carloso » Sun Jun 16, 2019 1:43 pm

It is my distinct impression that Limeños are, on the average, needlessly rude. I think this stems from a culture of defensiveness that makes them build psychological walls. Just look at how fortified the houses are. Crime is high, but we ain't in Ciudad Juarez. There's a degree of paranoia and withdrawal into one's own fortress that I find somewhat unique to Lima.

Expats mostly everywhere will have an eschewed perception of the average level of friendliness of a place. They simply get treated differently, and even curiosity might be mistaken for affability. The right accent or physical features can simultaneously mark you as a non-threat and an object of interest, so the same rules don't apply.

And yeah, it's a big city with big city problems. New Yorkers have a reputation for rudeness too, although I don't find them nearly as rude overall. As with all things, you can find many exceptions to the social mores of the majority. Some young people I have talked to seem to be more open in mind and attitude too, so there's hope.

Sauce: Born and raised in Lima, lived in some other places.
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Re: Why are most people in lima rude? Or close minded..

Postby Alpineprince » Sun Jun 16, 2019 10:30 pm

As a ex-Ny'er I resemble that remark!
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Re: Why are most people in lima rude? Or close minded..

Postby billybob72 » Fri Jun 28, 2019 11:00 am

I don't think Peruvians are particulary rude, apart from when they're scamming you of course in shops and catching taxi's - that's the height of rudeness :lol:

Venezuelans are bearing the brunt these days of a lot of misfortunes of the city (here in Lima at least...) - hearing a chamo/a accent might bring rudeness and that isn't fair because not every Venezuelan is a bad person and once upon a time - Peruvians went to Venezuela to escape the problems here back in the eighties.

As for banks - service in Peruvian banks are a thousand times better than they are in Spain - it's horrendous over there. :roll:
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Re: Why are most people in lima rude? Or close minded..

Postby Donnie123 » Thu Jul 04, 2019 11:19 pm

each capital is not so kind like town into a country. I speak spanish and It happened to me also in buenos aires argentina. I made a complaint to my Argentinian friend and she said people from the capital used to be so tough a rude. next time before to judge a country come to the inside of a country. Peru is a developing country and it can show also in the way how people live and treat each other. there are worse place in the world than peru and better place like peru as europa and usa or canada. in that kind of society a famous psychologist advice; love, tolerance, and humor.

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