Monsters in Peru

[Silvascreen]

HI to one and all.

I don't know what I'm looking for, legal advice? Similar horror stories?

My own story is that I met a girl on the internet in 2008, A limena. We had a lot in common and chatted often, her financial situation (unlike mine at that time) was dire and desperate, so I began sending her a little extra each week. No more than 100-150 dollars and she certainly never asked for it, so I didnt mind. A friendly gesture. I also bought her a new computer so we could communicate more effectively.

I came to Lima to visit her some months later, and we fell 'in love'. I stayed for 2 weeks, then returned home and went back to work. I next visited her 4 or 5 months later and she asked me to stay. Our relationship was fantastic at that time and I was quite independent so I said OK, sure.

We stayed at her mother's house in Surco and while I initially experienced the usual culture-shock, it was nothing severe as I've lived and worked in 10 countries in the last 20 years. What I couldnt adapt to though, was the domestic staff in the house for 18 hours a day, 6 days a week. Her mother has an 'employment agency' specialising in maids so she cherry-picked and exploited the new ones through the door. Obviously, people need time to adapt to difficult and thankless tasks, but her mother would never give them time, she would find random excuses to fire the girls within the first month, so she could avoid paying them. She then simply persuaded the next new girl in her agency door to work at her home. And repeat.

MY girlfriend didn't want to move out of her mother's house, so I bit my tongue and kept as quiet as I could about what I saw as rampant and shameless exploitation. IN that first year I saw 22 maids come and go.

This was my only real problem with our domestic situation, the zona was nice, the house was nice, I contributed (more than) my share of the household bills and supported us all from my overseas business arrangements. Then my girlfriend announced she was pregnant.

We had an uneventful pregnancy and birth, all went well and I salute Peru's private healthcare system (excellent pre-natal and post-natal care and the doctors and clinicas were really very good.)

We stayed there, in that house for the next 2 years. I continued to try to support everyone financially, but it soon became that the harder I tried, the less everyone else did. It seemed I was the 'backup plan', and people could go to work and not try to make money. In no time at all, my bank was empty and things started to become desperate so shortly after my son's first birthday, I took the heartbreaking decision to return to England alone to form a new business and advance the necessary Visa processes so I could fly my partner and son to England a few weeks/months later.

I continued to send money back to Lima, weekly, and all was going to plan in the UK for the first 4 months until my business was robbed and I lost 50 grand and had to go into insolvency. Undeterred, I started another one but my 'partner' suddenly announced she wanted nothing more to do with me. She told me she didn't love me anymore and if I wanted to be a father, would be on her terms.

She told me I would need to fly to Lima to see him, but she would no longer come to England. I would never be allowed to take him from her house, and would be supervised at all times in case I 'kidnapped him and ran off into the jungle' For the record, I have never threatened or insinuated such a terrible thing,and the thought of it disgusts me. For the last year and a half, I have regularly contributed A RIDICULOUS AMOUNT OF MONEY on an endless circuit of medical emergencies, freak accidents and even her internet and phone bill so I can see my flesh and blood on Skype.

She has now forbidden the Skype thing, says it's not good for him to have an internet daddy, and I can only agree. As hard as it sounds, I agree. I'd much prefer to live around the corner, and he can come to mine whenever he likes and we can have some kind of 'normal' father-son relationship, but she now tells me that if I come to live in Peru, she will move where I 'cant find her'

I have done nothing wrong to this woman, all I ever did was help and support and sacrifice, and now I get kicked in the teeth at every turn. I have even offered to help her get out of Peru, to put her and my son in a nice place here in the UK for six months, so my son can meet his extended family and see his father face-to-face for the first time in 18 months. She wants none if it. All she wants, is LA PLATA. Daily, weekly, she demands more and more and more and I get less and less and less. I even had to buy recent photos of my son from her, but that was 6 months ago and she hasnt had the humanity to send me any since then. She doesnt even have the humanity to add me to her 475-friend strong facebook so I can see new pictures of my son. On the computer I bought for her, and the internet connection I regularly pay for.

There's a word for her, and it rhymes with ditch.

Anyway, the latest offense involves my son. I looked on her youtube channel and found a new video she had made. Was a commercial for a jeans manufacturers in Peru. A promotional advert. My son features in the video for about 5 seconds, twice. I was horrified. I contacted her and asked why is he in the video? Surely it's illegal to use an unregistered child actor in a commercial venture? Isnt that child exploitation? Wouldnt she need some kind of governmental approval? Not to mention my rights as a father to approve such a thing. I was never consulted on this and in fact quite the opposite: she kept the whole thing secret and even asked me for money at the time it was filmed - because 'she wasnt working'.

She treats me like I have NO RIGHTS AT ALL, and like a dog.

I would like to hear similar stories of 'peruvian love', or maybe an opinion on where I can go from here. What is Peruvian custody law like? How much would I need to guarantee a friendly judge? One thing is for sure, I don't trust my son's future in the hands of such a woman. She has lived off (and still lives off) the charity of her 68 yesar old mother, and sister for the last 12 years, and myself for the last 5. I have gone from respecting the value of a mother in a young boy's life, to fearing for him on all levels and I dont know what to do for the best. I would love to think I could setup alone in Lima, close to my son, but she makes any kind of civilised discourse completely impossible and well, we all know how is life in Lima generally. It's a very hard place to begin a new life with enemies all around.


Thanks for reading.

[Silvascreen]

thanks for everybody's input.

[Sergio Bernales]

thanks for everybody's input.

I don't know if you've received a lot of PMs, or are being ironic, but it's difficult to respond to a story like that. I'm afraid I can only suggest you move on with your life and start again. What you did sounds noble to you, but to many other people with experience of Peru it sounds naïve. There's a certain type of woman here called bricheras and I think that's what your wife sounds like.

http://www.thehuaraztelegraph.com/2012/ ... explained/

It's up to you what you want to do about seeing your son, if you want to go through the courts, but just expect more costs and heartbreak. You also seem to need some good legal advice and I think that's your best move instead of giving this woman any more money.

[ironchefchris]

This is the first time I've come across your thread, sorry if you didn't get a better response. Having no children myself, I can only sympathize with your story. As far as advice, I agree 100% with what Sergio said. If I were in your shoes, the only money I'd spend in the future is on a lawyer.

[Sergio Bernales]

Yes, like Chris, this was the first time I saw your thread. Hey, Chris, cease and desist, man...

I also meant to say there's also a Peruvian lawyer who sometimes posts here. I can't remember his handle. If you write to Alan who runs the forum, he might be able to point you in the right direction and I'm sure it won't cost you a penny.

[LDX]

This woman already realized that ur son can be used as an extorsion tool...

There is no way u will get any decent agreement without a lawyer....
A normal wife would do anything to have her son and father together, even if divorced.

Too bad u didnt make a friend here to lookup how things are, But I wouldnt worry about sending any money
unless I see some evidence of good will.. Worst case scenario, she can get a job...

[28 de julio]

I have to echo everyone else's responses - stop all payments to this woman and seek legal advice immediately. Your son is nothing more than a tool to extract money from you.

In all honestly, even if you reach a legal agreement that allows you access, it will be virtually meaningless. Although the law technically looks good in Peru, it can be very slow. So your wife undoubtedly will constantly ignore legal threats, renege on promises and continue to lie and extort money from you. You will continue to pay lawyers and the situation you are in now will be the same, but with higher bills.

And I'm afraid your idea of him being close to his mother is meaningless. In many middle class Peruvian families, the servants bring up the children, usually a decent and well-trained nanny. From everything you've written in your post, the idea of him being brought up by his mother is just ridiculous. He will be looked after by the employees that your mother in law regularly hires and fires - a live in employee can cost only 700 soles a month, less for people like your in-laws. A decent nanny would cost more but it's obvious that this family would never hire one. So I'm afraid that every penny you send to Peru will go on your wife's lifestyle.

In my view, you have two choices. Get legal advice to obtain custody of your son and bring him to Britain, or forget about him for now. If you choose to forget about him, but feel obliged to provide for his future, or make other provisions for him, then set up a trust that only he can touch and only when he's old enough and then maybe you can help him come to the UK to go to university.

One other thing, as soon as you stop payments your wife will be full of threats, rage and all manner of ugly things will be said to you. It's all just nothing more than a large child's tantrum. Then when she realises you're serious, she'll suddenly be nice to you again and offer you access to your son. This will last for a short time and then it will go back to as it was before. It means nothing. Not only must you ignore your wife, you must cease all contact with her. Everything must be put in the hands of professionals, or she will continue to exploit you and make your life a misery.

I also suggest you talk to a counsellor in the UK regarding dealing with this type of personality. From what you've told us of her mother, she has only learnt one way to deal with people and she will never, never be able to deal with you in the adult and mature manner that you wish. Good luck. You'll need it.

[windsportinperu]

You are in a very difficult situation in life. It is very sad. It is very hard reading the experiences like yours without being sympathetic..

The lack of morals and values toward "empleadas domesticas" is a sign of the real moral values at home. Lack of respect for human beings - in a family environment like that - is a sympton of what could bring to you in the future. Sometimes is easy to see what the future will bring to you, just looking at the values of the family where she is coming from, but when we love, we are also "blind". The feelings are like drugs that suppress the "common sense". You didn't see what was very evident because of love.. But, now is the moment to change..

My guessing is that the mother has an strong influence in the decision made by her daughter.

Be careful with that woman. From now on, keep your eyes wide open. She knows how to manipulate your feelings. She is clever to do that, but now is your turn. Don't hate her. Pray a lot, no matter if you believe in God or not. Let all the bad feeling evaporate in the air, but be strong enough to fight for your son.

Now you need to create your own strategy to win this battle. Learn her female tactics and be totally aware of this. Don't let the "fake feelings" fool yourself again..

There is something that inevitalbe is going to happen to you. Once all this problem finally ends, you are going to be stronger than before. When all this problem will be finally solved you will see the life from a different perspective.

If at any moment you feel weak, then look for the help of your friends and your nearby famly. It is a long term battle. A lot of encouragement for you..

[simperu2012]

First and foremost, stop sending money. In my 8 years dealing with Peruvians, there will ALWAYS be a reason to send money. This broke, or that came up. The worst part is that the stories are outrageous sometimes, and people here still have the audacity to them with a straight face. From what I read about your ex girlfriend's family, they have money. Your son will not want for anything because, after all, it's her son. I understand you wanting to support your son, but understand that every penny, pound, or Sol that you send will go that conniving woman.

Second, try to see the situation for what it is. This is an attempt to milk you for everything you have. You left England and put your life on hold for this woman, lost a large amount of money, and have no doubt set yourself back. It isn't just about you and her, you have your little man involved now too. You aren't going to be able to take him away from his mother, but you are legally entitled to see your child, so pursue that right. If it means summers in England, then so be it. But don't let them take away what is rightfully yours.

Seek legal advice and invest all resources into that now. Don't get an "under the tree" lawyer. Get a well respected and fair lawyer that will help you get what you want. It will get ugly. I had never lived in a place that catered to vindictive and destructive people. But remember the most important thing: she won't hurt your son. She may threaten and "hacer un chongo" (make a big scene), but she won't hurt your little man. Just keep your head up and fight for what's right.

Peace and love.

[tupacperu]

Had a friend who got married and the same happened, except he did not have any kids with her. She went to a lawyer and demanded $1500.00 per month in spousal support. You cannot toy around with these types of women. Cut off the money and get legal advice. The only issue you will have is visitation, because he is considered a citizen of Peru and under Peru's legal jurisdiction. You will be paying one way or the other, but get a lawyer to minimize the impact, with clearly defined visitation rights.

Many Lima women with family money seem to be about the money in the long run (as with most countries). They see foreigner as money bags. Guys come to this country and think that women are naive and innocent. Some are, many are not...

I have a few horror stories of friends and acquaintances who have had problems with women in Peru. One story, a married woman (she did not tell him) , who had one of my friends send money frequently. When he returned to visit her year later, she got a new chip on her phone, shut down her email and moved. Her husband was in on the scam.

Sorry to hear about your kid, but make the sacrifice to go through the legal systems, may not be fair, because if her family has money she has good legal access also.

[Antperu]

That's a messed up story man. Sorry for all you've been and are going through. I just hope others can learn from your experience and story. Take your time if you fall in love overseas and make sure you like the family as well. Love in many other countries outside the U.S. and Europe means being in love with the whole family too. If you can't even get a good vibe from the family, you may have to second guess that relationship.

[Silvascreen]

Thanks so much to one and all for the great advice, it's an enormous help. It feels like Ive been carrying this alone for such a long time.

Re the trust fund issue, I've repeatedly stated this is my immediate intention and can she PLEASE send me a photocopy of his birth certificate. She refuses, saying he needs money now not when he's 18, and she thinks I will do 'something stupid' with the documentation...What exactly that could be, I dont have the creativity to imagine lol.

I am determined to play a part in his life, and to provide for him as best I can, but I will not be used in this manner and disregarded like a random taxi fare who didnt tip.

I guess the only way for me to see day-to-day change and to make any kind of positive realistic effect is to move to LIma, again, this time independently. Once stable I will attempt some kind of legal action.


a heartfelt thank you to everybody who responded here, it was exactly what I needed and I wish you all the very best.

[Roger in the US]

Keep track of every penny you send this woman and keep all of the email exchanges.


I don't know the laws of your country or Peru as far as recording phone conversations but this could be a possibility also. You need to talk to a lawyer. If it can be used in court to prove you were being extorted for money, it would help your case. But make damn sure you know the laws about this. In many states in the U.S. it is not permitted.

[miaperu]

That is a sad story mate!!! Come across the word " sicario"? It seems like you're too much of a nice guy And were blinded by the exoticness of a Peruvian lass and forgot to look behind the scene. Although ourMother in law's callousness should have tagged up some red flags!

[chi chi]

My own story is that I met a girl on the internet in 2008, A limena. We had a lot in common and chatted often, her financial situation (unlike mine at that time) was dire and desperate, so I began sending her a little extra each week. No more than 100-150 dollars

I continued to try to support everyone financially, but it soon became that the harder I tried, the less everyone else did. It seemed I was the 'backup plan', and people could go to work and not try to make money. In no time at all, my bank was empty and things started to become desperate

I continued to send money back to Lima, weekly,
I have regularly contributed A RIDICULOUS AMOUNT OF MONEY on an endless circuit of medical emergencies, freak accidents and even her internet and phone bill so I can see my flesh and blood on Skype.



All she wants, is LA PLATA. Daily, weekly, she demands more and more and more and I get less and less and less.

She's what the call a ''brichera'' in Peru. Many girls go on the internet to look for foreigners who can support them financially. But this girl is after big money.

Like you said, she lives in nice house in San Borja. People who can afford in San Borja have allready a lot of money. Her family even has maids and her mother has her own business.

Sending her $100-$150 S A WEEK is indeed a lot of money in Peru. Most girls in Peru have to work 6 long days a week and only make $100-$150 A MONTH. (in Lima they make a little bit more. Around $300 a month)

You saw it from the beginning that they were exploiting girls (probably from the provinces) in her family's home. So, it was logical that they will exploit you. She and her family are parasites. They make a living by stealing, scamming and exploiting people.

This girl did what she did to you before. She's a professional. She nows exactly what she does.

You don't sound like an idiot. You said that you lived in 10 countries and you run your own business and even you got scammed by her. That's means that she has done this before or got advice from her family.

From the first moment she met you, she was only interested in money. And for sure, her family is involved in the scam. Those emergencies and freak accidents were all lies.
You were in love with her and understandably you wanted to help her out she had other intentions and the love she showed to you was fake.

DON'T SEND HER ANY MONEY ANY MORE. AND CUT ALL CONTACT WITH HER. CHANGE YOUR PHONENUMBER AND EMAIL SO THAT SHE CAN'T HASSLE YOU ANYMORE OR EXTORT MONEY FROM YOU.

If you stop sending money then for sure she will try to get in touch with you to tell you how sorry she is, you will get a lot of apologies and (fake) excuses. She will promise you to become a good wife and will do anything for you.
DON'T FALL FOR THAT. DON'T BELIEVE ANYTHING SHE SAYS OR PROMISES. She only wants PLATA.

It will be tough but try to forget about her. Go on with your life. Don't let her spoil the rest of your life. She doesn't deserve it.

[Lloyd007]

Amazing. Absolutely amazing how people can just invent things and lie through their teeth, demand they want this, that and the other and use a baby in the middle of it as emotional blackmail.

The advice in these posts is GREAT! Cut contact and money supply immediately. Save all emails, try to record phone calls etc if you did speak again. Move to Peru when you can (don't hurry, take your time). Get good and correct legal advice. Set up the trust fund (even a separate account in your name will do for now). Do a 'denuncia' against her for 'pschological abuse' towards you (you must start to paint her in a bad light against the law). If you paid things with credit cards, keep the statements - very important. Don't tell her you are here. Don't tell her anything. Let the legal team sort it out.

I myself am going through a separation and divorce from an unscrupulous woman that deceived me from the beginning, too. Long story, but this happens a lot here. She had the cheek to accuse me of all kinds of things, when really, it was the other way around! Argh. Deceivings. Dishonesty. I can't believe it. It's so bad it makes me go, 'WOW' from time to time.

We should start a new forum **CULTURAL WARNINGS*** with the signs of these women bricheras and tactics that they use.

However and on a more serious note, I also want you to know that there are many many many good, decent, hard working and honest women in this country. Some of us pick badly because of the blindness of love, I suppose.

[KenBE]

However and on a more serious note, I also want you to know that there are many many many good, decent, hard working and honest women in this country. Some of us pick badly because of the blindness of love, I suppose.

I agree with this. Not all Peruanas are bad. My ex was a great girl, but things just didn't work out between us in the end. But yeah, you have to be careful and avoid the interesadas/estafadoras.

[chi chi]

you have to be careful and avoid the interesadas/estafadoras.

They call them BRICHERAS.

If you want to meet (genuine) girls then stay away from the famous ''Calle de las Pizzas'''.

[tupacperu]

you have to be careful and avoid the interesadas/estafadoras.

They call them BRICHERAS.

If you want to meet (genuine) girls then stay away from the famous ''Calle de las Pizzas'''.

LOL.. Chi-Chi you know from experience?

[KenBE]

you have to be careful and avoid the interesadas/estafadoras.

They call them BRICHERAS.

If you want to meet (genuine) girls then stay away from the famous ''Calle de las Pizzas'''.

Actually I never heard Peruvians use that word while I was in Peru. Maybe they mostly use it in Lima, where that type of woman is more common.

[windsportinperu]

you have to be careful and avoid the interesadas/estafadoras.

They call them BRICHERAS.

If you want to meet (genuine) girls then stay away from the famous ''Calle de las Pizzas'''.

Actually I never heard Peruvians use that word while I was in Peru. Maybe they mostly use it in Lima, where that type of woman is more common.

Not in Lima either.. "interesadas" or "vividoras" could be a better term..

[Silvascreen]

There's been good great responses in here. I didnt make the effort to meet many expats in my time in Lima, something I now regret.

Yeah, seems I was just used but it started out so open and 'honest'. She and I met through a pro forum, as we both work in the same industries (audiovisual), it wasn't like I just fell for the usual streetwalking Calle Pizza bargain bucket meal. She would regularly lament the lack of opportunities in Peru in our field of work, and blamed this on her not being financially independent. So network more, write more, you gotta get up off your backside, I would say (and still do). I started sending her the regular money just so she could contribute to her household - I was amazed that she had lived with her mother for years and didnt contribute a cent towards household bills, food or anything. Back here, if I tried the same trick I'd be kicked out in days My contributions were an attempt for her to get out of the house more often and to hold her head up around her mother (who I had not met at that time, and actually felt sorry for ahahaha, oh the shame)

It is obvious now though that I represented an opportunity for progression, in her eyes. She works behind the camera but really she's wasted - this girl is Oscar-winning material lol. What an actor!

I noticed another thread recently by Windsport asking why so many foreigners are attracted to women from other countries. I can't speak for everyone but well, most of us like a little adventure, right? I suspect each and every one of you is in Peru based on some 'romantic' notion of adventure/exotica, be it real romance or a love of other languages and cultures or food or just the chance to turn a corner and not know what you're going to see.

So now, I've cut all ties and we don't communicate at all. It really hurts that my son is being used as a weapon but my plans are deep and long-reaching. I'll support the boy in my own way when I'm there, and his future is already being sorted in the background. Someone mentioned 'take your time, dont rush it' but any parent here knows that a day without your kid(s) is a long and lonely one and I've already exceeded what I consider to be a normal length of absence from a young boy's life. He's not even three and he hasn't had a father for 18 months.

I'm halfway through the process of renting a nice furnished apartment overlooking the park where she takes my son every afternoon, and she knows nothing about any of it. Putting into place everything I need to run my existing concerns here, from there and have begun a search for ways to help me start a couple of new ventures there.

Might be a bit more on that subject at a later date, but for now I just want to thank everyone for taking an interest and being transparent and serious about all this. It's helped enormously

[28 de julio]

Sounds like you're getting your act together there, but the apartment over the park where your wife takes your son doesn't seem like such a great idea. I mean, she seems like a savvy person and she could easily interpret it as stalking. It might be a good idea to rethink this part, because you really don't want to give her ammunition to be used against you and that could mean her taking out a restraining order, which won't look good if you go to court for custody of your son. I still think you need to take more legal advice.

[Silvascreen]

Sounds like you're getting your act together there, but the apartment over the park where your wife takes your son doesn't seem like such a great idea. I mean, she seems like a savvy person and she could easily interpret it as stalking. It might be a good idea to rethink this part, because you really don't want to give her ammunition to be used against you and that could mean her taking out a restraining order, which won't look good if you go to court for custody of your son. I still think you need to take more legal advice.

Stalking? I doubt that, she would probably see it more as a closer ATM than the one at Wong, even though I wont be. I insist on living close though, and what can she really do about it? Send a Serenazgo round? What law did I break? I've never threatened her in any way so there's really nothing she can claim or try to claim.

Besides, she may never know exactly where I live, I'll wait and see if her attitude changes before I tell her such priceless information.

[chi chi]

Stalking? I doubt that, she would probably see it more as a closer ATM than the one at Wong, even though I wont be. I insist on living close though, and what can she really do about it? Send a Serenazgo round? What law did I break? I've never threatened her in any way so there's really nothing she can claim or try to claim.

Besides, she may never know exactly where I live, I'll wait and see if her attitude changes before I tell her such priceless information.

It sounds like you are still hoping that things will get OK between the both of you. I won't. Don't wait and see if her attitude changes. It won't. She was only after your money and she always will. She allready scammed loads of money from you. Invented emergencies and mishaps and asked you to feed the bill. How much more money do you want to lose to that scammer.

She allready told you that she will move away to somewhere that you can't find her and that she doesn't love you anymore.

Be carefull. She will easily find out where you live and for sure she will do everything to get more money from you. She can easily call the pólice and make fake denuncias against you. For sure, some friends or relatives of her will act as witnesses.
Or worser she might send some ''tough guys'' after you who might kill you. Remember that you have seen how her family exploits their domestic staff. What other crimes are they probably involved in? And what kind of scum do they have contacts with.

Good that you have cut all ties and don't communicate anymore. For sure she's now looking for another gringo she can part of his money.

She doesn't care if her son doesn't have a father. There are so many single mothers in Peru and those children never see their father. It's normal here in Peru.

Going to live opposite the park where she's going with her (and your) son isn't good idea. It's going to hurt you more. Seeing your son but not being able to go to him and be with him.
What's if you see her walking with your son and is accompanied with another guy and your son calls him ''daddy''.
Stay away from here. There are loads of nice and honest girls in Peru. They will suit you better.

[windsportinperu]

Silvascreen .. May I ask you ... how old are you ?

[Silvascreen]

Chi Chi, youre reaching a bit. I lived with the girl for years, I know (now) what she's capable of and what she isn't. Murder isnt one of them, I'm sure and I am most definitely not hoping 'things will be ok between us'.

'Staying away from her' is the easy part, but thanks for your advice. I agree with you about all the rest of it though. Some poor gringo will be getting fleeced but every dog has his day. None of us escape karma.


Windsport, I'm 41

[mirage]

Silvascreen, I speak from experience. If you come to Peru, and try and work this out with her, you will lose big time, and your son worse. The only way you can do this, is to totally cut her off, and get her to sign a court appointed agreement with you regarding her care of the son and how much you will pay. There is no agreement between the UK and Peru unlike most other countries, so she will have to agree. PM me if you want more help. If you come to Peru, before this agreement you will have a lot of problems. Even after the agreement, she can go back to court at anytime, but this costs and is extremely time consuming, and at least you have the basis of the first agreement. As a foreigner, and also as a Peruvian the judge will almost always side with the mother, but it is worse as a foreigner.

[chi chi]

Chi Chi, youre reaching a bit. I lived with the girl for years, I know (now) what she's capable of and what she isn't. Murder isnt one of them, I'm sure and I am most definitely not hoping 'things will be ok between us'.

'Staying away from her' is the easy part, but thanks for your advice. I agree with you about all the rest of it though.

Just be carefull in what you do. You really miss your son and you really want to best for him and will do anything to see him.
Emotions can get high and you might do things that might get you into trouble.

Like Mirage said, it will be tough and the courts might not work in your favor but I wish you all the best. I hope that it will work out for you.
I hope that you have friends who are helping you to get through this.

[chi chi]

Silvascreen, I speak from experience. If you come to Peru, and try and work this out with her, you will lose big time, and your son worse. The only way you can do this, is to totally cut her off, and get her to sign a court appointed agreement with you regarding her care of the son and how much you will pay. There is no agreement between the UK and Peru unlike most other countries, so she will have to agree. PM me if you want more help. If you come to Peru, before this agreement you will have a lot of problems. Even after the agreement, she can go back to court at anytime, but this costs and is extremely time consuming, and at least you have the basis of the first agreement. As a foreigner, and also as a Peruvian the judge will almost always side with the mother, but it is worse as a foreigner.

Lawyers aren't interested in helping you out, they are interested in your money. And as you are a foreigner they will most likely beef up their fees and during the process, they will invent non existing problems and hidden extras.
Lawyers will promise you that they will sort out your problems, even if they know from the beginning that you will stand no chance at all.

Listen to the experiences that people had that are in the same situation like you. Like Mirage.

You love your son and for sure you will be a very good father for him but unfortunately the legal turmoil will destroy your good intentions and even hurt you more.
It will be tough but try to forget about it and get on with your life. Don't waste any more time and money on it.

[Silvascreen]

Hello again to all the nice people who found the time to offer some input last time and any new readers, I hope this story does not affect you personally.

I am updating this thread as it was never resolved and has now seen some extremely alarming developments that I need to know the relevant authorities to contact. Please be warned that there is some awful subject matter here, and it's a little complicated to absorb and process, but it is what it is.

Following the advice of some of the previous responses in this thread, I had a few more futile attempts at a compromise before I decided to issue an(other) ultimatum: "Send me the Boy's Birth certificate or I cease all payment and will wait to hear from your lawyer about a court date."

I got a bitchy reply and then didn't hear from her for another 14 months.

14 months later - Boxing Day 2015 - I receive an email demanding money as my son is in hospital having his stomach pumped due to suspected consumption of dog dirt. She needs 2000 Soles. I know how dirty they live, I knew it to be true so I sent the money without question.

27th December. "He's ok now thank you, doctor's say he will survive. Seems you are the father he needs after all, you have my appreciation and respect....by the way, how is business, all ok?....I imagine you married by now, no?" I see the shark senses dollar in the water and is circling around seeing if there are any other rival predators, but I play dumb out of a sheer fascination to see what tricks she will pull next. After a 14 month absence I have to admit I was curious to see if she had changed/improved or transformed into a rattlesnake. I suggested we discuss a regular payment and visitation rights plan immediately as civilised adults and friends only. I urged her not to try to pull any emotional strings and we will be just fine, and our Son will soon be a bit more stable.

NO, this was too hard for her. Within THREE SHORT DAYS and 2 Western Union trips, she actually had the front to say "I think the boy needs a brother /sister and I need your ****." I knew then exactly what book I was reading and thought 'OK let's see this out to the inevitable end, I'm fascinated.' I don't care what it costs, this is all getting documented and used in a court of law. I don't even care anymore if this puts me on the street, let's roll.

She pulled out all the stops and in 3 short weeks prostituted herself and whatever shred of decency she had left and sucked me dry of yet another 4 thousand dollars. She lied to me about where the money was going, she couldn't produce any receipts (again), she even constructed a complete fantasy debt from a school that - miraculously - one of her closest friends works at AS AN ACCOUNTANT.

She then got me to pay for a lovely expensive yuppie school that she knew I wouldn't refuse, which AT THE 11TH hour -and the very day of registration - was suddenly full up and she had to put him in a cheap one. She then spent the money that was left on things she couldn't list and then asked for more.

During this 3 week period, we chatted most days, usually me asking banal things such as how everybody is there and it being turned into a conversation about money within 10 seconds, but she was also very keen to 'confess her sins'. I sensed a sick kind of gloating, but I encouraged her to continue.

She admitted that in this 14 month absence, she had successfully groomed 100s of men online, some for profit, some for sex, but one in particular was a 60 year old man from USA, who 'suddenly and unexpectedly' arrived in Lima, with no money, and couldn't perform sexually, so she asked him to leave. She then claims he tried to abduct my son and is still in Lima. I immediately found out who he was and where and contacted him.....MORE ON THIS IN A FEW MOMENTS.

At this specific time (3 weeks of chat), I had to walk out of my house due to not being able to pay the bills and she didn't even ask me for my new address. The very final insult was when she begged me to put her back online in her home so me and my son could have Skype sessions "again"... I said OK, sent her the money, and the very morning that her connection came online she disappeared for 6 weeks. Not a word, nothing. Only to reappear asking for me to pay the bill.

I was so tired of trying by this time, I simply made a youtube video showing her my domestic situation, offered her an income, all bills paid in a house of her own and said THIS IS THE ONLY WAY.


She didnt even watch the video.


So. I contacted the man she claims made advances towards my son and asked him simply to give me his account of what happened in Lima. He didn't respond for many months, but when he did, my heart sank. He told me of her admissions of sexual perversions such as her giving oral sex to her dog, and the overtly sexual nature of my son, who he says dry-humps things constantly and is always exposing his genitalia at school and displays the 'usual' character eccentricities of a child who is being abused. I asked for proof of such claims, and he has subsequently sent me their entire 7 month SKYPE interactions, every single word and exchange, to assist me in my legal process.

She also talked him out of more than $3000 in a month, and as soon as he arrived in Lima, he saw the scope of her lies and immediately tried to contact me to help me. The financial transactions are recorded and available.

As well as their skype chats, he has also given me chats she had with other guys on HIS laptop behind his back where she has webcam cybersex with what appears to by my son in close proximity.

In a lot of these interactions with different people, I read that the chats were ongoing and regular and she has been doing this for a very long time with certain individuals.


What I myself have gleaned from reading this awful material is the following:

She uses a systemic formula of sexual trigger words and neuro-linguistic and diversionary and time-management techniques to deliberately and effectively create and sustain sexual interest . She then transforms this dynamic into a dialogue about need and stability and eventually, financial statements of intent and assurances of fiscal reward. She uses exactly the same sentences and phrases she used with me, 7 years ago. It is spooky and surreal to read, sickening. But there is definite structure to her techniques. I would love to invite any psychologists/psychiatrists to read the subject matter with impunity and make a 'diagnosis' on her character and psych but it will all shortly be used as evidence so I'm not sure if that's wise.

She has admitted in chats with friends and lovers (and I have them all on file) that she is using people against each other, and requests assistance from named individuals to help her extort money from other named individuals, and general conspiracies to defraud.

I have her own admission to a chatter that she will never give me my son, or his birth certificate, all she wants is my money, I wont even see him again.


I digress, there is a lot to go through and I haven't read it all yet. It's upsetting and makes me sick but my concern is now for my Son. If she is performing sex acts on animals and (GOD FORBID) abusing him, who the hell do I call? Right now?

I would like her to be subjected to immediate psychological tests to ascertain her suitability as a parent and to find out if the boy is being harmed.


Somebody please help? Do Peru have a division for this kind of thing? I want to scream. I feel so powerless. I am initiating a class legal action immediately upon some sound legal advice or consultations with police or child care authorities but do any of you know who I can call?

Please, in here in pm, anyone?


Yours earnestly, G

[Silvascreen]

bump for urgency

[jacob]

I think you are likely dealing with a sociopath who was most likely sexually abused at an early age. She is incapable of empathy, even for her child. I highly recommend that you have no contact except through the legal system. As you now realize, everything was and will be an act for the sole purpose of extortion. You need to stop believing that you can "reach" her, or even make any common sense agreement with her whatsoever. Any contact you make, you are guaranteed to lose and you need to cut your losses.

[jacob]

P.S. Yes, I believe if she found some benefit in it, she would harm you without even blinking.

[jacob]

My mistake above, sociopathy should have been psychopathy.

[alaskan_sol]

After a long absence, im back at this forum and this is the first post I read.

I have gone back and forth to Peru for 19 years now and know Peru well. I know exactly the type of women you are dealing with and I can tell you with the utmost certainty that money talks in Peru. If you want your son out of there, you have to go there and grease the palms of everyone involved with the process in getting your son back. Its that simple. Doing things 'by the book' will not work. We all know the wheels spin really slowly in Peru but a simple bribe will put you on top of the pile. I have to do this often.

As far as how much? It will be a money war with her lawyer. Who has the most money will win. Do you think you can outspend her family? As an example, $10,000 got a friend of a friend off for Murder! So if $10,000 can get you out of a murder charge I'm sure that could get your son back especially armed with the evidence you provided here. But being that your British, there will be a premium for sure. But Your son is worth it!

I'm assuming you didnt marry her...

If you did get married then you have options. What I know of divorce there is the Children go to who can support them. Most of the male divorcees I know in Peru got there kids and that includes ex-pats. (I went through a divorce in Peru and I had the option to take my daughter, which I declined at the request of her Mother) Another tidbit is that in Peru, alimony goes both ways. Meaning that if you are un-employed and she is working , she has to pay you. You can use that as leverage as the courts will investigate her finances and in doing so may come across the crimes you explained.

I guess it comes down to how much money you have to afford the lawyer with the most connections. I could help you in Cusco, but probably not in Lima. I will be there in January, so if you are still around I can inquire if my contacts know anyone in Lima.

The last option was already mentioned in this thread and I think its the best. Support him with a fixed stipend that you think is fair by your own choosing. Send it every month and ignore all requests for additional money. When he turns 18, ask him to come to England to go to school. Find out what the treaty is between England and Peru regarding ex-pat children. Children born to American children in Peru have to declare citizenship to one or the other Country when they turn 18. It may be the same for British children. Find out, if so that will be your queue.

Its what my ex-Peruvian wife and I worked out. She will be raised in Peru with her mother and at 18 shes declaring American Citizenship and coming to US to go to school. As a matter of fact thats why Im going to Peru to do now. We're doing the swearing ceremony and I'm bringing her to the U.S. according to our agreement.

Go get your Son!

[captcosmic]

After a long absence, im back at this forum and this is the first post I read.

I have gone back and forth to Peru for 19 years now and know Peru well. I know exactly the type of women you are dealing with and I can tell you with the utmost certainty that money talks in Peru. If you want your son out of there, you have to go there and grease the palms of everyone involved with the process in getting your son back. Its that simple. Doing things 'by the book' will not work. We all know the wheels spin really slowly in Peru but a simple bribe will put you on top of the pile. I have to do this often.

As far as how much? It will be a money war with her lawyer. Who has the most money will win. Do you think you can outspend her family? As an example, $10,000 got a friend of a friend off for Murder! So if $10,000 can get you out of a murder charge I'm sure that could get your son back especially armed with the evidence you provided here. But being that your British, there will be a premium for sure. But Your son is worth it!

I'm assuming you didnt marry her...

If you did get married then you have options. What I know of divorce there is the Children go to who can support them. Most of the male divorcees I know in Peru got there kids and that includes ex-pats. (I went through a divorce in Peru and I had the option to take my daughter, which I declined at the request of her Mother) Another tidbit is that in Peru, alimony goes both ways. Meaning that if you are un-employed and she is working , she has to pay you. You can use that as leverage as the courts will investigate her finances and in doing so may come across the crimes you explained.

I guess it comes down to how much money you have to afford the lawyer with the most connections. I could help you in Cusco, but probably not in Lima. I will be there in January, so if you are still around I can inquire if my contacts know anyone in Lima.

The last option was already mentioned in this thread and I think its the best. Support him with a fixed stipend that you think is fair by your own choosing. Send it every month and ignore all requests for additional money. When he turns 18, ask him to come to England to go to school. Find out what the treaty is between England and Peru regarding ex-pat children. Children born to American children in Peru have to declare citizenship to one or the other Country when they turn 18. It may be the same for British children. Find out, if so that will be your queue.

Its what my ex-Peruvian wife and I worked out. She will be raised in Peru with her mother and at 18 shes declaring American Citizenship and coming to US to go to school. As a matter of fact thats why Im going to Peru to do now. We're doing the swearing ceremony and I'm bringing her to the U.S. according to our agreement.

Go get your Son!

Is the need to declare either a Peruvian or American a Peruvian law or US? I had never heard this before. Thanks alaska_al.

[tjmccurdy]

This is common with girls here - buyer beware! As they say, "It might be hard, but 'pinch it off'". I personally have no more compassion for the manipulative culture here. I do not donate to anyone on the street, unless I see they are really making an effort to make their life better or have no other way - and then I still watch them for weeks. If this girl wants to be this way, then let her be and stop letting her drain you financially and emotionally - believe me, she has a backup plan!

[gringolandia]

The comment above about children born of US citizens needing to declare citizenship of either the US or Peru at 18 is nonsense. A child born to a US citizen is a US citizen from birth, but the US citizen parent(s) need to submit a report of birth abroad form, preferably as soon as possible. A US passport for the child can be requested at the same time. There is nothing preventing the child from holding both a US and Peruvian passports.

Anyway, this whole story seems overly dramatic. I don't believe it. The obvious solution (as several people suggested) was to have hired lawyers a long time ago. That it was not done and the dramatic story continues suggests to me that the whole thing is fake (perhaps the basis for a script for the "silvascreen"). Or the OP is an idiotic glutton for punishment.

Either way I'm not buying it.

[Silvascreen]

The comment above about children born of US citizens needing to declare citizenship of either the US or Peru at 18 is nonsense. A child born to a US citizen is a US citizen from birth, but the US citizen parent(s) need to submit a report of birth abroad form, preferably as soon as possible. A US passport for the child can be requested at the same time. There is nothing preventing the child from holding both a US and Peruvian passports.

Anyway, this whole story seems overly dramatic. I don't believe it. The obvious solution (as several people suggested) was to have hired lawyers a long time ago. That it was not done and the dramatic story continues suggests to me that the whole thing is fake (perhaps the basis for a script for the "silvascreen"). Or the OP is an idiotic glutton for punishment.

Either way I'm not buying it.

The forum rules dictate that I remain civil to you, so all I have to say to you is I genuinely hope you dont have as much bad luck as I did, but if you do I hope you appeal to strangers for help and guidance and you meet someone as ugly on the inside as you seem to be. I didn't need to prove a damn thing to you but here you go:

http://imgur.com/a/gr132

I'd appreciate it if you contributed nothing further to this discussion, Sir, how does it feel to be the ONLY person in this thread to make a completely depressed fellow human being feel even worse? It's a good thing we dont know each other in life, and you can take that to the bank.


To everyone else, I havent been here for a while and am still formulating a case against his mother, as and when funds allow. There are a couple of people in here I will be contacting privately for their sterling advice and specificity.

Thanks to all.

[Silvascreen]

And I will add to the idiotic moron that I stated I am from England in my OP. Not the US.